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Post by shirochigo on May 23, 2011 22:59:12 GMT -5
Article:
If you read the article, then we can discuss it together. It's not very long, I promise.
Anyway, what do you think of the situation? Do you think it's a good idea or do you agree with the other parents? Why or why not?
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Post by G♌I♏♏ on May 23, 2011 23:08:23 GMT -5
I think in sunshine and bunny land where everyone is entirely accepting and open this is a fine idea. However, this world (regardless of where you live or how "progressive" it is) isn't exactly suited for raising a "genderless" child. There are rolls that are perceived for each sex and that sex tends to identify with. Being male, female, or even being "transgendered" is something that we identify with and it's something we build our mental image upon. But if you're growing up being told that you're genderless... it's kinda like a building block is entirely missing.
This reminds me of a special I watched about a young boy who, when he was born, the doctors messed up his circumcision so his parents, influenced by a strange psychologist, raised him as a girl and his twin brother as a boy. It resulted in some pretty terribly consequences for both of the children because they had so much trouble comprehending their situation (both before and after they found out) in the context of our society. It just seems cruel to the child :/ I'd love to live in a world where genders can be bent like that, but that's not the case,
Besides, it's not the child's choice either to be identified as genderless. It's something that the child should really make on their own... at an age where they're old enough to really understand what's going on and the magnitude of everything. There's got to be better ways for these parents to get their message across, whatever they're trying to say.
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Post by NOPE on May 23, 2011 23:17:35 GMT -5
I think what they're doing is fine, considering my view on gender sterotypes. The gender roles in our society is 50% of what causes ignorance and bullying, particularly for people who try to be radical outside of these gender norms. I've suffered the teasing and suffering that comes with being a radical regarding things guys "should" do because you're a guy.
While I see Grimm's point in saying that identifying as genderless isn't the child's choice either, typically a child doesn't gain a sense of self until the age of 12-13 anyhow. By then, it'll be able to make it's own choices. They'll just follow their parents regardless of what they do, but if the child's raised in this situation; they'll be a lot more open minded in the future.
Take my experiences for example. My cousin, 11 months older than me, was raised in a strict christian upbringing with bigoted parents. I was, on the opposite end of the spectrum, mostly raised by a single lesbian mother who was friends with everybody. I have to listen to how my cousin cuts herself and wants to dye her hair black to piss off her parents, due to their extremely poor treatment of her and their harsh and strict expectations. I, generally speaking, am rather open minded and feel safe and secure. While I get mad at my mother, I don't do things like my cousin.
tl;dr It's fine and the child doesn't make its own choices till age 12-14.
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Post by shirochigo on May 23, 2011 23:30:43 GMT -5
I'll admit it; I love it when people do things that aren't conventional so I'm obviously in support of these parents. However, it's not for the reasons you would expect. I think this would be a wonderful social experiment. If a child were to grow up in an environment that was free of labels like "boy" and "girl", then what would that child do after they become self-aware like Jub says?
I can definitely understand what grimm is saying though; they might be completely and utterly confused about their situation. If a boy were to grow up without knowing what a typical boy does, then what will happen? If a boy sees another boy playing football with his father, wouldn't he want to do the same with his?
Ultimately, though, I think Storm would still be exposed to labels regardless; they're everywhere. I highly doubt they could hide Storm from gender roles as he or she grows up with television, advertisements, the Internet, and hell, even just going outside of their house will expose him or her to a wide variety of things. I don't think I would support this kind of parenting outside of an experiment-type setting; parents basically create the foundation for their children like grimm said.
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Post by Sp❣rit on May 23, 2011 23:39:52 GMT -5
I wonder about this. It sounds like they're trying to do the best for their child, but I'm just thinking about how Storm is going to grow up. Children aren't going to understand, and they will tease and say insensitive things. Would they have to call Storm an 'it', resulting in Storm not becoming a person, but an object?
By not having the family know, at least at first, there might be some kind of wall. I'm sure they might not be happy or as understanding about the choice at first. I wouldn't want to hear of any family pressures because of the experience.
Considering what Storm will no doubt go through, I'd hope that they'd teach Storm to be a strong individual so he (I'm saying he) can learn how to endure some of those things in his childhood. I mean he might not know what exactly is different in his early years, but who is to say that he won't feel pressured to spill his secret, something that shouldn't be a secret, as a kid?
Who knows, it's interesting. But it feels odd to treat your child as an experiment, or as something to use to fight some kind of emotional issue. I don't entirely get the system they're trying to fight, as this is a baby, toddler, and child that will no doubt be under their parent's influence until they can stop and think for themselves as a teenager. Sexuality, gender rights, and the glass wall all seem to come in at a later point.
Ultimately it would be up to the child, and I'd also hope that they wouldn't pressure their child to keep it a secret. It seems unfair. At the most though, I can only imagine. For a while it is the parent's decision, then it is up to Storm, but whether it is in Storm's best interest...I'm not sure.
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Post by jay on May 24, 2011 3:02:50 GMT -5
I'll be honest, I feel like it's ridiculous. quick little rant. as a 5 year old, you aren't really ready to choose what you want to become for the rest of your life. Everyone knows that as you look back on what you did with your life, you say things like 'I was so stupid, I can't believe I did that.' How are they going to put the pressure of this onto a kid? First off, as a baby, will they give him/her gender neutral clothes? How do you give a 3 year old a decision where they can hardly decide for themselves what they want, childhood is a place of self-discovery, but not to completely be unsure of what to do. I'm not sure, it sounds interesting but your child isn't an experiment. It's an innovative idea, I give them but in a time where KIDS still are vicious and ridicule everything about you essentially ripping your self-esteem to shreds, why give them the ammo to completely destroy Storm's childhood?
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Post by shirochigo on May 25, 2011 0:57:38 GMT -5
Thanks for all the replies everyone. It was really nice to have a discussion like this. It really have me a better perspective on the topic. I'll probably post some more in the future about various things.
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