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Post by lyrabutt on Nov 5, 2011 22:15:09 GMT -5
{desc=sexy}http://prillalar.com/drabbles/ If Adverb 2 doesn't show up, then use IE. It works on there for some reason. Joyfully Tripping
Resix tripped along sharply. She was on her way to meet her lover, Justin Bieber, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a skank hopping along, carrying a cat butt in its mouth.
Resix was almost against a refrigerator when she came across a furry cake, lying alone on a bumbling plate. "That must be a treat from my chubby bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked electrifying, so she ate it.
It gave her the most anus tingling sensation in her toe hairs. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Justin Bieber.
When Justin Bieber came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Resix cried deviantly.
"Your butt! And your penis head!" Justin Bieber said. "They're politically correct! Can't you feel it?"
Resix felt her butt and her penis head. They were indeed quite politically correct. "Oh, no!" Resix said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that furry cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Justin Bieber said. "I got you a defibrillator. It must have been that skankalicious man who lives nearby. He acts a little huskily, ever since he tickled a knife."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Resix sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Justin Bieber said feverishly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your butt is really fabulous like that."
"Really?" Resix dried his tears. Resix kissed Justin Bieber and it was an entirely scrumptious sensation, like my dick that casts a happy glow o'er the land.
They spent the night having entirely scrumptious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
The Fabulous Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Justin Bieber and Resix went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Justin Bieber hit Resix in her penis head with a big bumbling iceball. It hurt a lot, but Justin Bieber kissed it sharply and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really scrumptious snow man!" Justin Bieber said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Resix said. "That would be more electrifying and politically correct."
"I know," Justin Bieber said. "We can make a snow skank. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up joyfully and made an anus snow skank. Justin Bieber put on a knife for the butt. The skank was almost as big as Resix.
"It looks politically correct," Justin Bieber said huskily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Resix said and held up a chubby cat butt. "I found this against a refrigerator." She put the cat butt onto the skank's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the skank, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like my dick that casts a happy glow o'er the land.
Resix screamed deviantly and ran but the snow skank chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow skank tickled her feverishly.
"Nobody does that to my little Skankalicious Defibrillator," Justin Bieber screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow skank through the toe hairs. It fell down and Justin Bieber kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Resix said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The cat butt lay in the yard until a furry child picked it up and took it home.
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Post by FOTLY on Nov 5, 2011 22:20:47 GMT -5
Biebs. This is the best thing ever. :'D THIS IS A MASTERPIECE. /loves all over
Best thing I've ever read. Seriously
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Post by Kula Hula Kimmie on Nov 5, 2011 22:21:44 GMT -5
So. Much. Love.
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Post by DR-@@GON on Nov 5, 2011 22:23:43 GMT -5
hot
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Post by freeziepop on Nov 5, 2011 22:27:19 GMT -5
The amount of laughter in the skype call that you totally missed proves how awesome this is. The best thing I've read all day.
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Post by Cammie on Nov 5, 2011 22:34:19 GMT -5
Fuckingly TrippingCambow tripped along intentionally. She was on her way to meet her lover, Dracken, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a Salemnce hopping along, carrying a shark in its mouth.
Cambow was almost under a rock when she came across a delicious cake, lying alone on an effervescent plate. "That must be a treat from my purring bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked fotly, so she ate it.
It gave her the most sparkling tingling sensation in her neckbeard. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Dracken.
When Dracken came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Cambow cried face-first.
"Your liver! And your nostril!" Dracken said. "They're zealous! Can't you feel it?"
Cambow felt her liver and her nostril. They were indeed quite zealous. "Oh, no!" Cambow said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that delicious cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Dracken said. "I got you a shitstain. It must have been that ass man who lives nearby. He acts a little cluelessly, ever since he choked a neckbeards."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Cambow sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Dracken said hackingly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your liver is really worm-infested like that."
"Really?" Cambow dried his tears. Cambow kissed Dracken and it was an entirely resplendent sensation, He is the pointing gun, we are the bullets of his desire.
They spent the night having entirely resplendent sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
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Post by DR-@@GON on Nov 5, 2011 22:37:13 GMT -5
The Retro Stranger By Spiritsrose The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Spirit strode along the path, making for Succulent Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Fuckweasel Clone, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Knuckle.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her beautifuk Dracken just in time to face the borb man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.
The man struck quickly, and Spirit barely raised her Dracken to meet the attack. They fought long and bawkly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Spirit found herself forced to one knee, the man's Dracken pressed to her macho moustache. "I am Arionne of Succulent Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Fuckweasel Clone. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you trapped in a Spirit Build."
But Spirit had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her Dracken with a twist, overpowered Arionne and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Spirit said, looking down upon him.
Arionne's back shimmered like Resix' scrotum, it stretched. "I have underestimated you, Spirit. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Spirit's desire was enflamed. Her moustache throbbed and all her thoughts were to explode Arionne like a Charizard. Spirit caressed Arionne's radical back and he responded. They came together pedophilely, and their joining was as punny as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet egg!" Spirit groaned and exploded Arionne as resixly as she could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Spirit said. "That's where I put the Fuckweasel Clone for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed excitedly on the grass, forgetful of all but their groovy love. "We will stay together forever," Arionne said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Knuckle never got the Fuckweasel Clone and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
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Post by lyrabutt on Nov 5, 2011 22:44:38 GMT -5
To Joyfully Hump
Resix and Justin Bieber were celebrating a chubby Valentine's Day together. Resix had cooked an anal dinner and they ate in a sea of sex by candlelight.
"My darling," Justin Bieber said, stroking Resix's butt, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Resix. "It is but a politically correct token of my bumbling love."
Resix opened the box. Inside was an electrifying defibrillator! She gazed at it deviantly. Then she gazed at Justin Bieber deviantly. "It's skankalicious," Resix said. "Come here and let me hump you."
Just then, a furry crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like Edward Cullen's floppy ass penis. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a scrumptious voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Justin Bieber read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."
They stared at each other sharply as the crone cackled some more. Resix's penis head began to tremble. Then Justin Bieber shrugged, pulled out a velociraptor, and hit the crone on her toe hairs. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Resix said and kissed Justin Bieber feverishly. "This is a fabulous Valentine's Day!"
They huskily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they humped each other all night long.
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Post by freeziepop on Nov 5, 2011 22:51:25 GMT -5
I'm Dreaming Of An Effervescent Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Fot sat fotly in my room, sipping resplendent eggnog.
She looked at the repulsive supernova hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Fot's Mom had hung it there, just before they looked at each other porkily and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's testicles.
If only I hadn't been so magnificent, Fot thought, pouring a borbly amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Fot's Mom might not have got so substantial and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away an unsightly tear and held her tentacle in her hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a thundering voice lifted herpily up in song.
I'm dreaming of an effervescent Christmas
Just like the smile on jesus' face after he fucks a million cats
Fot ran to the door. It was Fot's Mom, looking wet all over with snow.
"I missed you derpily," Fot's Mom said. "And I wanted to fuck your testicle again."
Fot hugged Fot's Mom and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Fot's Mom said.
"I think so too," Fot said and they fucked each other's testicles until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted chicken fot and lived sexily until Fot got drunk again.
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Post by FOTLY on Nov 5, 2011 22:53:30 GMT -5
I one up this. ^
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Post by DR-@@GON on Nov 5, 2011 22:59:12 GMT -5
Casanova Love by Spirit Sierra finished packing. Ever since Shamu, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Sierra had been far out.
There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing bitched her, all was cheeto. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going in the hood to become a fab functional love machine.
Just then, there was a phony knock at the door. Sierra opened it and stood there cheesily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her beard.
When Sierra came to, Shamu was holding his weave and looking funky. "My love," Shamu said gnarly, "I'm sorry for the bootin' shock. I've been shipwrecked on a brick house island for the last ten years, living like a tail, a real strong one to squeeze the living shit out of you. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my middle finger in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Sierra could hardly believe her Shamu had returned. "I will always love you, middle finger or no middle finger. Besides, you can cover it up with a mojo."
They embraced NARLY and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was ace. OTHER VERSION
The Flying Centipede Prince By Spirit (randomized again) Sierra was walking through an ace meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a far out little flying centipede lying under a tree.
Sierra skipped over to see the dear thing and was fab to find that he was hurt! A functional love machine had pierced his brick house little middle finger and he whimpered gnarly with the pain.
"My casanova little friend," Sierra said. "Let me help you!" She took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the functional love machine, as cheesily as she could. The flying centipede cried out and Sierra's heart ached, like a tail, a real strong one to squeeze the living shit out of you. "You'll be all right," Sierra whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Shamu and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Shamu up in her arms, Sierra carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Sierra nursed Shamu, cleaning his middle finger and feeding him Dougie-brand flying centipede chow.
On the eighth night, Shamu climbed into bed with Sierra. He burrowed under the covers and groovily bitched Sierra's weave. It made Sierra giggle and she cuddled close to Shamu, stroking his beard and singing funkily to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Sierra hurried home so she could curl up with Shamu. It gave him a cheeto feeling whenever Shamu bitched her weave.
Then one night, Shamu looked up at Sierra and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a bootin' prince."
Sierra screamed NARLY, she was so surprised. How could a flying centipede talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Shamu said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Sierra said and kissed Shamu on his beard. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a bootin' prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Shamu," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Sierra said.
"See?" Shamu said and showed Sierra the scar from the functional love machine on his middle finger. Then he kissed Sierra and they tumbled in the hood and did a lot of very funky things, some of them involving a phony mojo.
"I love you," Shamu said when they were done. Sierra clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Shamu had stashed away.
And if Shamu didn't know about Sierra's visits to the flying centipede sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him. I Saw Shamu Kissing Santa Claus Sierra woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one funky box that looked like a mojo.
Then Sierra noticed that Shamu was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Sierra thought that she would surprise Shamu. Maybe even sneak up behind him and bitch him on his bootin' weave. That always made Shamu fab.
Sierra crept groovily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its phony lights, and the presents, heaped up funkily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Shamu. Kissing someone.
Sierra was so angry, she picked up a Dougie from a table and threw it NARLY in the hood.
They both looked around.
"Shamu, you far out flying centipede!" Sierra yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Sierra looked and then rubbed her beard and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Shamu said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a cheeto kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Sierra said gnarly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be casanova."
That seemed reasonable. Sierra went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a tail, a real strong one to squeeze the living shit out of you. He made Sierra's middle finger feel all ace.
"You see?" Shamu said cheesily and Sierra saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
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Post by Dracken on Nov 5, 2011 23:01:05 GMT -5
A Hideous Day To Shove
Cambow stepped timidily out into the Sexy sunshine, and admired Fot's hand. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a Horrible sight."
Fot climbed off the egg and walked repellingly across the grass to greet his lover. Cambow patted Fot on the arm and then tried to Shove him derpily, but without success.
"That's all right," Fot said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not Anal," Cambow. "Not as Anal as the time we Shoved beneath the bed."
Fot nodded stupidly. "We were French back in those days."
"Our heads were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Cambow said. "Everything seems Honking and Fat when you're young."
"Of course," Fot said. "But now we're Especially, we can still have fun. If we go about it penetratingly."
"Penetratingly?" Cambow said . "But how?"
"With this," Fot said and held out a Bootylicious shore. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to Shove."
Cambow swallowed the shore at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to Shove penetratingly. They Shoved roaring like a lion. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
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Post by Cammie on Nov 5, 2011 23:04:42 GMT -5
The Pikachu Princess
Cambow was walking through an exuberant meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around her head when she spied a screeching little Pikachu lying under a tree.
Cambow skipped over to see the dear thing and was salty to find that she was hurt! A Cheyenne had pierced her drab little antler and she whimpered easily with the pain.
"My frantic little friend," Cambow said. "Let me help you!" She took out her Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Cheyenne, as eagerly as she could. The Pikachu cried out and Cambow's heart ached, as though her ass was expelling an entire Gyarados. "You'll be all right," Cambow whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Kimmie and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Kimmie up in her arms, Cambow carried her home and made a bed for her beside her own. For seven days and seven nights, Cambow nursed Kimmie, cleaning her antler and feeding her Tally-brand Pikachu chow.
On the eighth night, Kimmie climbed into bed with Cambow. She burrowed under the covers and fast raped Cambow's tusk. It made Cambow giggle and she cuddled close to Kimmie, stroking her gill and singing carefully to her.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Cambow hurried home so she could curl up with Kimmie. It gave her a jitteryry feeling whenever Kimmie raped her tusk.
Then one night, Kimmie looked up at Cambow and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a slippery princess."
Cambow screamed correctly, she was so surprised. How could a Pikachu talk? She must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Kimmie said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Cambow said and kissed Kimmie on her gill. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a slippery princess! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Princess Kimmie," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Cambow said.
"See?" Kimmie said and showed Cambow the scar from the Cheyenne on her antler. Then she kissed Cambow and they tumbled behind the door and did a lot of very ugliest things, some of them involving a clever moustache.
"I love you," Kimmie said when they were done. Cambow clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Kimmie had stashed away.
And if Kimmie didn't know about Cambow's visits to the Pikachu sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.
I Saw Kimmie Kissing Santa Claus Same words different story
Cambow woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one clever box that looked like a moustache.
Then Cambow noticed that Kimmie was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Cambow thought that she would surprise Kimmie. Maybe even sneak up behind her and rape her on her drab gill. That always made Kimmie slippery.
Cambow crept eagerly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its screeching lights, and the presents, heaped up fast, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Kimmie. Kissing someone.
Cambow was so angry, she picked up a Tally from a table and threw it easily behind the door.
They both looked around.
"Kimmie, you exuberant Pikachu!" Cambow yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Cambow looked and then rubbed her tusk and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Kimmie said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a jitteryry kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Cambow said carefully. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be salty."
That seemed reasonable. Cambow went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, as though her ass was expelling an entire Gyarados. He made Cambow's antler feel all frantic.
"You see?" Kimmie said correctly and Cambow saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
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Post by Sp❣rit on Nov 5, 2011 23:11:19 GMT -5
Kath and Sheep by William Shakespeare Enter Kath
Sheep appears above at a windowKath:But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the Not America, and Sheep is the cock blocking mom. Arise, hard cock blocking mom, and penetrate the funky deadly wound. See, how he leans his brain upon his digestive tract! O, that I were a glove upon that digestive tract, That I might touch that brain! Sheep:O Kath, Kath! wherefore art thou Kath? What's in a name? That which we call a tail By any other name would smell as gigantic Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like the miracle of life that comes out of a chicken's ass" And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st, Thou mayst prove fluffy. Kath:Swain, by yonder funky deadly wound I swear That tips in the kitchen the heavy headless corpse-- Sheep: O, swear not by the deadly wound, the spicy deadly wound, That furiously changes in its throbbing orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise throbbing. Sweet, big night! A thousand times big night! Parting is such fast mother fucker sorrow, That I shall say big night till it be morrow. Exit aboveKath:Sleep dwell upon thy brain, peace in thy digestive tract! Would I were sleep and peace, so passionately to rest! massively will I to my hard tail's cell, Its help to penetrate, and my gigantic tail to tell.
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Post by freeziepop on Nov 5, 2011 23:11:49 GMT -5
An Ancient Occurrence
Draffle paced up and down, jiggling her spleen. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Shotgun, had arranged to meet her here up the butt. "I have something splendid to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Shotgun was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Draffle expected to see her bounce up, her aggressive hair streaming behind her and her whimsical eyes aglow.
Draffle heard footsteps, but they seemed rather ludicrous for a delicate and magnificent girl like Mary Sue Shotgun, whose tread was effervescent. She turned around and found Junkbag staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Junkbag said enormously. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Draffle had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so quickly. "Mary Sue Shotgun asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Junkbag, her nipple began to throb fottily.
"Oh," Junkbag said, cleverly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Draffle said and caught Junkbag by her bellybutton. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Junkbag said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like resix when she goes batshit and bans erryone.
From behind a really big plane, Mary Sue Shotgun watched with a proud light in her mysterious eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Draffle/Junkbag". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the KoD from extinction.
The Proud Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Junkbag and Draffle went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Junkbag hit Draffle in her spleen with a big ludicrous iceball. It hurt a lot, but Junkbag kissed it fottily and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really effervescent snow man!" Junkbag said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Draffle said. "That would be more whimsical and politically correct."
"I know," Junkbag said. "We can make a snow KoD. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up quickly and made a splendid snow KoD. Junkbag put on a really big plane for the bellybutton. The KoD was almost as big as Draffle.
"It looks mysterious," Junkbag said enormously. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Draffle said and held up an ancient shotgun. "I found this up the butt." She put the shotgun onto the KoD's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the KoD, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like resix when she goes batshit and bans erryone.
Draffle screamed cleverly and ran but the snow KoD chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow KoD sucked her sexily.
"Nobody does that to my little Aggressive Airceltrai," Junkbag screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow KoD through the nipple. It fell down and Junkbag kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Draffle said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The shotgun lay in the yard until a magnificent child picked it up and took it home.
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Post by Kula Hula Kimmie on Nov 5, 2011 23:31:21 GMT -5
A Condom In Time
On a delicious and raspy morning, Kimmie sat in a closet. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her spine ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Talis to love someone with a vigorous groin?
Laboriously, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a whimsical drunk fiddle, all on a summer's day. I wish my Talis would rape me, in his own sexy way..."
"Do you?" Talis sat down beside Kimmie and put his hand on Kimmie's tail. "I think that could be arranged."
Kimmie gasped endlessly. "But what about my vigorous groin?"
"I like it," Talis said curvaceously. "I think it's melodic."
They came together and their kiss was like a cheese grater in the hands of Helen Keller.
"I love you," Kimmie said ravenously.
"I love you too," Talis replied and reproduced her.
They bought a badger, moved in together, and lived fanatically ever after.
The Adventure Of The Badger
Kimmie and Talis were out for a whimsical Valentine's walk in a closet. As they went, Talis rested his hand on Kimmie's tail. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so delicious, Kimmie was filled with sexy dread.
"Do you suppose it's raspy here?" she asked laboriously.
"You foamy silly," Talis said, tickling Kimmie with his fiddle. "It's completely vigorous."
Just then, a drunk badger leapt out from behind a moustache and reproduced Talis in the spine. "Aaargh!" Talis screamed.
Things looked piquant. But Kimmie, although she was melodic, knew she had to save her love. She grabbed a condom and, like a cheese grater in the hands of Helen Keller, beat the badger fanatically until it ran off. "That will teach you to rape innocent people."
Then she clasped Talis close. Talis was bleeding ravenously. "My darling," Kimmie said, and pressed her lips to Talis's groin.
"I love you," Talis said endlessly, and expired in Kimmie's arms.
Kimmie never loved again.
The Delicious Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Kimmie strode along the path, making for Drunk Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Foamy Fiddle, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Tail.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her whimsical moustache just in time to face the vigorous man who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.
The man struck fanatically, and Kimmie barely raised her moustache to meet the attack. They fought long and laboriously until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Kimmie found herself forced to one knee, the man's moustache pressed to her piquant spine. "I am Talis of Drunk Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Foamy Fiddle. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you in a closet."
But Kimmie had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her moustache with a twist, overpowered Talis and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Kimmie said, looking down upon him.
Talis's groin shimmered like a cheese grater in the hands of Helen Keller. "I have underestimated you, Kimmie. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Kimmie's desire was enflamed. Her spine throbbed and all her thoughts were to rape Talis like a badger. Kimmie caressed Talis's raspy groin and he responded. They came together endlessly, and their joining was as sexy as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet condom!" Kimmie groaned and reproduced Talis as ravenously as she could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Kimmie said. "That's where I put the Foamy Fiddle for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed curvaceously on the grass, forgetful of all but their melodic love. "We will stay together forever," Talis said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Tail never got the Foamy Fiddle and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
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Post by Cammie on Nov 5, 2011 23:49:08 GMT -5
I'm Dreaming Of A Teeny-tiny Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Fot sat foolishly since the war, sipping drug-induced eggnog.
She looked at the shrill sack hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Santa had hung it there, just before they looked at each other tightly and then fell into each other's arms and leeched each other's jiggly belly.
If only I hadn't been so tense, Fot thought, pouring a iridescent amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Santa might not have got so sparkling and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a raspy tear and held her appendix in her hand.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a mysterious voice lifted limply up in song.
I'm dreaming of a teeny-tiny Christmas
Just like a game of mafia, somebody always wins
Fot ran to the door. It was Santa, looking unsightly all over with snow.
"I missed you zestily," Santa said. "And I wanted to leech your jiggly belly again."
Fot hugged Santa and started to sob.
"I think you're drunk," Santa said.
"I think so too," Fot said and they leeched each other's jiggly belly until they knocked the Christmas tree over.
On Christmas Day, they ate roasted platypus fang and lived loudly until Fot got drunk again.
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Post by Sp❣rit on Nov 6, 2011 0:12:04 GMT -5
A Math In Time
On a tender and borbalicious morning, Blaze sat in TD's Love Shack. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His penetrating machine ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Syl to love someone with an ignorant boobs?
Dreamily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a tasty metaphysical holy nuns, all on a summer's day. I wish my Syl would grab me, in his own bonerific way..."
"Do you?" Syl sat down beside Blaze and put his hand on Blaze's gorilla salad. "I think that could be arranged."
Blaze gasped curiously. "But what about my ignorant boobs?"
"I like it," Syl said Jesusly. "I think it's magical."
They came together and their kiss was like Don and Shamu being whipped by Eleanor on a very bad day.
"I love you," Blaze said vividly.
"I love you too," Syl replied and grabbed him.
They bought a festering manhood, moved in together, and lived intentionally ever after.
---------------
A Tasty Day To Grab
Blaze stepped curiously out into the painful sunshine, and admired Syl's gorilla salad. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a tender sight."
Syl climbed off the holy nuns and walked intentionally across the grass to greet his lover. Blaze patted Syl on the penetrating machine and then tried to grab him dreamily, but without success.
"That's all right," Syl said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not magical," Blaze. "Not as magical as the time we grabbed in TD's Love Shack."
Syl nodded vividly. "We were metaphysical back in those days."
"Our boobss were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Blaze said. "Everything seems seductive and ignorant when you're young."
"Of course," Syl said. "But now we're bonerific, we can still have fun. If we go about it Jesusly."
"Jesusly?" Blaze said . "But how?"
"With this," Syl said and held out a borbalicious ballsack. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to grab."
Blaze swallowed the ballsack at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to grab Jesusly. They grabbed like Don and Shamu being whipped by Eleanor on a very bad day. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
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Post by Kula Hula Kimmie on Nov 6, 2011 0:21:22 GMT -5
The Battle For The Moustache
In the closet, F licked her moustache. She had been busy with the moustache for hours and now wanted nothing more than a nippy cuddle or a jittery massage from her lover KoD.
She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her lavish KoD appeared at the door, grinning wetly.
"Put down the moustache," KoD said repeatedly. "Unless you want me to rape that moustache on your groin."
F put down the moustache. She was husky. She had never seen KoD so lush before and it made her glistening.
KoD picked up the moustache, then withdrew a condom from his penis. "Don't be so husky," KoD said with a lush grimace. "A badger bit my tail this morning, and everything became drunk. Now with this moustache and this condom I can repeatedly rule the world!"
F clutched her sexy tail unabashedly. This was her lover, her lavish KoD, now staring at her with a lush penis.
"Fight it!" F shouted. "The badger just wants the moustache for his own lavish devices! He doesn't love you, not the nippy way I do!"
F could see KoD trembling unabashedly. F reached out her groin and touched KoD's penis repeatedly. She was lavish, so lavish, but she knew only her sexy love for KoD would break the badger's spell.
Sure enough, KoD dropped the moustache with a thunk. "Oh, F," he squealed. "I'm so nippy, can you ever forgive me?"
But F had already moved in the closet. Like a centipede with 98 missing legs, she pressed her groin into KoD's penis. And as they fell together in a drunk fit of love, the moustache lay on the floor, glistening and forgotten.
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Post by freeziepop on Nov 6, 2011 0:35:53 GMT -5
A+
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