Post by Sp❣rit on Dec 27, 2011 0:23:25 GMT -5
{desc=With love <33333333333333}
It was Christmas, the sky was dark, and snow glistened as it settled into sparkling frost on the trees that nearly resembled vampires, down to the fang like icicles that stabbed down at the bitter air. It was actually Christmas in July, as Canada does this kind of thing and never has a day without snow. The scent of maple syrup drifted through the air as young ones stopped playing in the snow to return to their cozy igloos as their fathers came home with giant whales to feed the family for the night. With blubber blankets to keep the cold out of their bodies, and meat to fill the tiny tummies, each family was excited for the joys that Christmas would bring.
Except for one lone monster that lived on the tippy top of a mountain that loomed in the background of the town, with a trail of slithering smoke that reached up at the stars like a greedy hand, grasping to steal the light right out of the sky. Inside that terrible abode lived a borb, which was a species that was known to have vividly bright yellow feathers all over their bodies, as well as a triangle shaped head, possessing a beak that was long and straight like Pinocchio’s nose and was as pink as a pig, as well as two wings that could be stretched open like a very large quilt. The borb was named Gobble, and living to his name, he enjoyed gobbling at small children to make them drop their pet beavers as he stole them away to make a maple syrup covered beaver meal for his dinner.
The borb had once been a proud citizen of the town, being a lumberjack that was as fine as any other Canadian in the town of Canadia, but he didn’t say ‘eh’ enough and was soon banished into the mountain, growing into a borb due to the amount of negative pressure he was forced to endure. They say that borbs are evil creatures, but he had a very small pet that he called his loyal assistant that he adored and treated with kindness. It ended up following him in every way and called him 'Master'. It was a flying popsicle called Freeziepop, carrot flavored, and no one would ever want to eat her because she tasted so terrible. The pair of outcasts were disgusted at the thought of Christmas when it was only July, wanting to put a stop to this mess since Christmas should only happen in December, and the pre-mature holiday cheer was making them sick. After drinking and eating dessert alone, but they were together, they started to plot and made plans to ruin Christmas for everyone. With a gleaming smile, Gobble stared at Freeziepop after finishing writing down their master plan. ”With this, they can get a dose of reality. Just like we did! Corruption never felt this good.” With that, they drank more Angry Birds Tequila and prepared to set their plan in action.
Meanwhile, for a certain main character’s time at the lab, 20 year old Arionne stood at Professor Maple’s lab in hopes of getting a cup of syrup. Instead, she was mistaken for a 10 year old girl due to her natural Asian youth and beauty, and was given a Squirtle that no one wanted. ”H-Hey! Wait…!” This wasn’t right! How could Arionne be paired with anything but Charmander?! Hell she didn’t even want a Pokémon anyways, she was too busy studying to be a Hockey Player Master and wasn’t getting all of the ‘eh’ plusses that she wanted. She had to study harder! To be the very best, that no one ever was! The Professor, who was a big muscular man that wore a red plaid t-shirt to show off his hairy chest, growled at her in response. ”You sure you want to have Charmander, eh? Only special trainers can use eh Charmander.” Arionne glared at him. ”Bullshit. You know what? Fuck you.” She lobbed the Squirtle’s Pokeball at his nose, quickly breaking it as she pulled out a whip from out of nowhere and started to make some practice lashes out at the snow. ”I’m more than special; I’m the Fire Lily.” She said the title with a snarky stare, enjoying the look of shock that appeared on the Professor’s face when she admitted that terrifying secret. ”N-No! It cannot be…! I thought the flower garden was a myth!” He was on his knees as he trembled at the sight of Arionne, not believing that the Fire Lily was real. He was sad and mad. Canada has snow and no plant life at all, so it was very hard to believe that there was a flower garden all the way out here. ”And I thought you had a Ph.D in giving me maple syrup.” Ari snorted, wanting a Charmander anyways after all of her hard work when it came to male domination, so after much whipping and beating, she was soon out on the road-less Canadian snowy fields.
Arionne was hungry and she still wanted maple syrup for her beaver meal tonight, but the hunt for maple syrup at this time of night would prove to be difficult. She needed the other flowers if she was ever going to enjoy this Christmas in July. Not even the thought of her boyfriend glazed in maple syrup could make her happy at a time like this, oh no. She needed maple syrup fresh from the maple syrup well. The other flower rangers were some of her biggest friends and rivals, but she was sure that if she shared, then maybe they would help her out.
She had to go to the flower cave, which was basically her basement, where she stored all of her precious flowers to keep them alive in this terrible land of snow. As soon as she walked down the steps and turned on the lights, her pet Drackylion ran up to her and started to slobber all over her feet. ”Drack! Drack!” The creature barked, wagging her tail while greeting her master. Arionne did not feed Dracken. She was very sad about that.
The Wind Lilac, Brian Orchid, and Water Rose were all sitting around a table playing Uno when Brian Orchid looked up at Ari when she came in. ”Hey, bitch Ari. Where’s the syrup, eh? It’s Christmas, we’ve been waiting for dinner for HOURS.” Micah was whining as usual, so Ari slapped him in the face while the other two flowers stared awkwardly from the background before pretending to take a very odd interest in their game, almost as if they were trying to ignore the violence in front of them.
”Bitch, you did not just do that when I asked you a question.” The Brian Orchid stood up, ready to fight Ari when the main character smiled, taking out her whip and making Micah flinch and back off at the sight. She who holds the whip holds the power…that was the flower garden motto. ”Micah, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.” Everyone frowned. It was sad and they were mad. Micah made her a god damn sandwich with the chicken of darkness. There was an odd vibe in the room though, as if something was ruining their mojojojo! Dracken barked from the background, sensing something terrible going on outside.
”What is it girl? Hey, hey! Sibmer! Hey! Borbarific!” The Water Rose cried in mock excitement as she dropped her cards and attempted to rile up the Drackylion, who took this with an angry stare and quickly bit Spirit’s hand. ”My haaand! Oh my god, I’m dying. Oh god.” However, there were loud screams emerging from upstairs, which quickly made everyone stop what they were doing as they stared up fruitlessly.
Someone suggested that it would be more productive to go outside and check what was going on, so the flower ranger team was soon out there. Seductively making poses as they emerged from the dungeon wearing power ranger suits, with Arionne as the leading red ranger, they roared with an O-shaped mouth while staring in awe at the giant sausage that oozed maple syrup wherever it went. It was like the world’s most disgusting slorc gone wrong, and riding on top of it? Gobble and Freeziepop, laughing as they sprayed terribu amounts of fotting substances on each igloo. ”Hey Freezie, this is so beautifuk!” Gobble laughed as he took pleasure in crushing each igloo in his strong gunks of fot.
”It’s…it’s so powerfuk!” The Wind Lilac exclaimed, having no idea how to handle this situation. Surely the main character, the hero of this story would? She looked expectantly towards Ari, as well as everyone else besides the clueless villains as their leader casually scratched at her chin. ”I say…make the mods do it.” It was a good plan, as the power rangers simply sat around and let the mods attempt to squish the giant sausage with their mod powers. ”How sibulent.” Freeziepop took notice of the mods, but they were simply too weak to tame their massive slimy sausage. The bad guys simply ran over the mods, one by one, leaving the flower rangers no choice but to take action.
”Poor mods…sib.” The sibsters sibbed together at the sight of the mods that sacrificed themselves in vain, but Ari had to have a plan B, right? ”Nope.” But…but wait, Ari. You have to have a plan. ”I got nothing.” Arionne crossed her arms, wanting to go back home. She didn’t even need maple syrup that much, gosh. What a terrible stereotype! ”Dude, I could be getting laid right now.” Not you too, Brian! Fucking Brian, be useful in my plot, dammit! Brian nooooo! He left the story.
”Oh…wait. I accidentally the sausage and now there are 5 carrots in my ear.” Freeziepop was hovering near the Gobble as she said that, and to his horror, she was slowly turning into a flower. No! Wait! He wanted to stop her, as Canada couldn’t possibly have flowers, and not even lumberjacks chopped away flowers! They chopped down trees! What could he possibly do as Freeziepop evolved into the Radical Tulip except succumb to the flower rangers and their girth.
”...I’m a virgin with rage. I give up.” The Gobble could only bow his head down and sib, clapping his feathered wings together and falling off the sausage since he couldn't fly. He looked dead but Arionne was quick to apprehend the Gobble with her handcuffs since he was a clear threat when unconscious. Why does she have handcuffs? It’s a tool from her part time job, just like the whip. ”Oh Gobble, you are so banned.” The Gobble was banned, Arionne had her Charmander, and the flower rangers were quick to celebrate Christmas in July with roasted Beaver with maple syrup on top. Micah was not invited.
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Arionne’s Terribu Adventure
It was Christmas, the sky was dark, and snow glistened as it settled into sparkling frost on the trees that nearly resembled vampires, down to the fang like icicles that stabbed down at the bitter air. It was actually Christmas in July, as Canada does this kind of thing and never has a day without snow. The scent of maple syrup drifted through the air as young ones stopped playing in the snow to return to their cozy igloos as their fathers came home with giant whales to feed the family for the night. With blubber blankets to keep the cold out of their bodies, and meat to fill the tiny tummies, each family was excited for the joys that Christmas would bring.
Except for one lone monster that lived on the tippy top of a mountain that loomed in the background of the town, with a trail of slithering smoke that reached up at the stars like a greedy hand, grasping to steal the light right out of the sky. Inside that terrible abode lived a borb, which was a species that was known to have vividly bright yellow feathers all over their bodies, as well as a triangle shaped head, possessing a beak that was long and straight like Pinocchio’s nose and was as pink as a pig, as well as two wings that could be stretched open like a very large quilt. The borb was named Gobble, and living to his name, he enjoyed gobbling at small children to make them drop their pet beavers as he stole them away to make a maple syrup covered beaver meal for his dinner.
The borb had once been a proud citizen of the town, being a lumberjack that was as fine as any other Canadian in the town of Canadia, but he didn’t say ‘eh’ enough and was soon banished into the mountain, growing into a borb due to the amount of negative pressure he was forced to endure. They say that borbs are evil creatures, but he had a very small pet that he called his loyal assistant that he adored and treated with kindness. It ended up following him in every way and called him 'Master'. It was a flying popsicle called Freeziepop, carrot flavored, and no one would ever want to eat her because she tasted so terrible. The pair of outcasts were disgusted at the thought of Christmas when it was only July, wanting to put a stop to this mess since Christmas should only happen in December, and the pre-mature holiday cheer was making them sick. After drinking and eating dessert alone, but they were together, they started to plot and made plans to ruin Christmas for everyone. With a gleaming smile, Gobble stared at Freeziepop after finishing writing down their master plan. ”With this, they can get a dose of reality. Just like we did! Corruption never felt this good.” With that, they drank more Angry Birds Tequila and prepared to set their plan in action.
Meanwhile, for a certain main character’s time at the lab, 20 year old Arionne stood at Professor Maple’s lab in hopes of getting a cup of syrup. Instead, she was mistaken for a 10 year old girl due to her natural Asian youth and beauty, and was given a Squirtle that no one wanted. ”H-Hey! Wait…!” This wasn’t right! How could Arionne be paired with anything but Charmander?! Hell she didn’t even want a Pokémon anyways, she was too busy studying to be a Hockey Player Master and wasn’t getting all of the ‘eh’ plusses that she wanted. She had to study harder! To be the very best, that no one ever was! The Professor, who was a big muscular man that wore a red plaid t-shirt to show off his hairy chest, growled at her in response. ”You sure you want to have Charmander, eh? Only special trainers can use eh Charmander.” Arionne glared at him. ”Bullshit. You know what? Fuck you.” She lobbed the Squirtle’s Pokeball at his nose, quickly breaking it as she pulled out a whip from out of nowhere and started to make some practice lashes out at the snow. ”I’m more than special; I’m the Fire Lily.” She said the title with a snarky stare, enjoying the look of shock that appeared on the Professor’s face when she admitted that terrifying secret. ”N-No! It cannot be…! I thought the flower garden was a myth!” He was on his knees as he trembled at the sight of Arionne, not believing that the Fire Lily was real. He was sad and mad. Canada has snow and no plant life at all, so it was very hard to believe that there was a flower garden all the way out here. ”And I thought you had a Ph.D in giving me maple syrup.” Ari snorted, wanting a Charmander anyways after all of her hard work when it came to male domination, so after much whipping and beating, she was soon out on the road-less Canadian snowy fields.
Arionne was hungry and she still wanted maple syrup for her beaver meal tonight, but the hunt for maple syrup at this time of night would prove to be difficult. She needed the other flowers if she was ever going to enjoy this Christmas in July. Not even the thought of her boyfriend glazed in maple syrup could make her happy at a time like this, oh no. She needed maple syrup fresh from the maple syrup well. The other flower rangers were some of her biggest friends and rivals, but she was sure that if she shared, then maybe they would help her out.
She had to go to the flower cave, which was basically her basement, where she stored all of her precious flowers to keep them alive in this terrible land of snow. As soon as she walked down the steps and turned on the lights, her pet Drackylion ran up to her and started to slobber all over her feet. ”Drack! Drack!” The creature barked, wagging her tail while greeting her master. Arionne did not feed Dracken. She was very sad about that.
The Wind Lilac, Brian Orchid, and Water Rose were all sitting around a table playing Uno when Brian Orchid looked up at Ari when she came in. ”Hey, bitch Ari. Where’s the syrup, eh? It’s Christmas, we’ve been waiting for dinner for HOURS.” Micah was whining as usual, so Ari slapped him in the face while the other two flowers stared awkwardly from the background before pretending to take a very odd interest in their game, almost as if they were trying to ignore the violence in front of them.
”Bitch, you did not just do that when I asked you a question.” The Brian Orchid stood up, ready to fight Ari when the main character smiled, taking out her whip and making Micah flinch and back off at the sight. She who holds the whip holds the power…that was the flower garden motto. ”Micah, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.” Everyone frowned. It was sad and they were mad. Micah made her a god damn sandwich with the chicken of darkness. There was an odd vibe in the room though, as if something was ruining their mojojojo! Dracken barked from the background, sensing something terrible going on outside.
”What is it girl? Hey, hey! Sibmer! Hey! Borbarific!” The Water Rose cried in mock excitement as she dropped her cards and attempted to rile up the Drackylion, who took this with an angry stare and quickly bit Spirit’s hand. ”My haaand! Oh my god, I’m dying. Oh god.” However, there were loud screams emerging from upstairs, which quickly made everyone stop what they were doing as they stared up fruitlessly.
Someone suggested that it would be more productive to go outside and check what was going on, so the flower ranger team was soon out there. Seductively making poses as they emerged from the dungeon wearing power ranger suits, with Arionne as the leading red ranger, they roared with an O-shaped mouth while staring in awe at the giant sausage that oozed maple syrup wherever it went. It was like the world’s most disgusting slorc gone wrong, and riding on top of it? Gobble and Freeziepop, laughing as they sprayed terribu amounts of fotting substances on each igloo. ”Hey Freezie, this is so beautifuk!” Gobble laughed as he took pleasure in crushing each igloo in his strong gunks of fot.
”It’s…it’s so powerfuk!” The Wind Lilac exclaimed, having no idea how to handle this situation. Surely the main character, the hero of this story would? She looked expectantly towards Ari, as well as everyone else besides the clueless villains as their leader casually scratched at her chin. ”I say…make the mods do it.” It was a good plan, as the power rangers simply sat around and let the mods attempt to squish the giant sausage with their mod powers. ”How sibulent.” Freeziepop took notice of the mods, but they were simply too weak to tame their massive slimy sausage. The bad guys simply ran over the mods, one by one, leaving the flower rangers no choice but to take action.
”Poor mods…sib.” The sibsters sibbed together at the sight of the mods that sacrificed themselves in vain, but Ari had to have a plan B, right? ”Nope.” But…but wait, Ari. You have to have a plan. ”I got nothing.” Arionne crossed her arms, wanting to go back home. She didn’t even need maple syrup that much, gosh. What a terrible stereotype! ”Dude, I could be getting laid right now.” Not you too, Brian! Fucking Brian, be useful in my plot, dammit! Brian nooooo! He left the story.
”Oh…wait. I accidentally the sausage and now there are 5 carrots in my ear.” Freeziepop was hovering near the Gobble as she said that, and to his horror, she was slowly turning into a flower. No! Wait! He wanted to stop her, as Canada couldn’t possibly have flowers, and not even lumberjacks chopped away flowers! They chopped down trees! What could he possibly do as Freeziepop evolved into the Radical Tulip except succumb to the flower rangers and their girth.
”...I’m a virgin with rage. I give up.” The Gobble could only bow his head down and sib, clapping his feathered wings together and falling off the sausage since he couldn't fly. He looked dead but Arionne was quick to apprehend the Gobble with her handcuffs since he was a clear threat when unconscious. Why does she have handcuffs? It’s a tool from her part time job, just like the whip. ”Oh Gobble, you are so banned.” The Gobble was banned, Arionne had her Charmander, and the flower rangers were quick to celebrate Christmas in July with roasted Beaver with maple syrup on top. Micah was not invited.
THE END
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