Post by FOTLY on Mar 10, 2011 20:43:32 GMT -5
This is rated PG-13 for mild cursing and domestic violence. Viewer discretion is advised.
Not the best title ever, but... Whatever.
Okay, I'm not sure if this is hormones, but the last one is actually, in my eyes, pretty serious.
I'm getting frustrated at my family a lot. And, more than usual. I mean, I'm 13. I've got enough hormones right now to... I don't know. But, I've been getting really pissed off, and I don't know why.
I'd come home mad for some god-knowing reason, and just blow off at someone. Normally my step-sister, since she's the first I see after school.
Is there something seriously wrong with me? Hell, I don't know. I just hope this runs off soon.
And, I know I probably haven't had the roughest life, but I'm not like one of those spoiled brats. I'm not afraid to tell out most of my personal info online, unlike some people, but my parents are divorced, and my step-dad has some serious anger issues when he gets mad. My mom does, too. I think that's what led to the divorce.
I've moved multiple times, 5 if you don't count baby-wise, and I have some trust issues. I've become shy, and it's become a habit to just bottle up my feelings and then explode later.
By the hoot, I'm being serious.
And, ever since, like, fourth grade (7th now) and probably before that, I've been having these extreme blow-outs with my 7-year old brother. What happened to the good old days where we'd play barbies together and he'd be Barbie and I'd be Ken? What happened to the days I taught you how to read, and write, and count, and spell, and your ABCs? I have no fucking clue.
And, I've recently been noting that when he does piss me off, I either yell at him or, well, hit/kick/punch/bite him. I'd hate to be him. Really.
Also, I've been under a lot of stress lately. My mom's been a real bitch and whines to my step-dad, but seriously. You may have to worry about whether he takes his meds, your med school, and the four of us, but being a teenage kid like me isn't exactly the frosting on top of the cake, either. I mean seriously.
Jesus Christ.
I have to worry every day if we have a partner problem. Hardly anyone in my classes likes me, and I'm always stuck with doing all the work. Or most of it.
I have to worry about coming home to her packing up because she's 'had the last straw' for the god knows time. I have to worry about whether I hurt my brother or not with all this crap coming down him? I have to worry about if I explode at the wrong person and probably get my ass whipped. I have to worry about a whole lot more than her. I have to keep my grades up so I don't have my schedule all screwed up just because she doesn't want me to be like her.
And then there's my dad. I think he was fat or something. He alway talks to me about how fat people have less self respect than skinny people. I may not have high confidence, or anything like that, but I don't want to be anorexic skinny.
I'm tired of all the fights. I'm tired of all the angst, and of my anger against my brother. Just today I was told that if he was too loud while Dave sleeps to kick him in the ass. That was the last straw, and I told him no. I'm not gonna hurt my brother if I can help it.
I'm also tired of me getting angry at him for just speaking! I'm tired of all of this shit.
I thank you for taking the time to read this. And, to wrap this up, I'd like to say- Cheyenne means more to me than my family. Honest. I wouldn't leave this place for anything. I love you guys like my family.
Not the best title ever, but... Whatever.
Okay, I'm not sure if this is hormones, but the last one is actually, in my eyes, pretty serious.
I'm getting frustrated at my family a lot. And, more than usual. I mean, I'm 13. I've got enough hormones right now to... I don't know. But, I've been getting really pissed off, and I don't know why.
I'd come home mad for some god-knowing reason, and just blow off at someone. Normally my step-sister, since she's the first I see after school.
Is there something seriously wrong with me? Hell, I don't know. I just hope this runs off soon.
And, I know I probably haven't had the roughest life, but I'm not like one of those spoiled brats. I'm not afraid to tell out most of my personal info online, unlike some people, but my parents are divorced, and my step-dad has some serious anger issues when he gets mad. My mom does, too. I think that's what led to the divorce.
I've moved multiple times, 5 if you don't count baby-wise, and I have some trust issues. I've become shy, and it's become a habit to just bottle up my feelings and then explode later.
By the hoot, I'm being serious.
And, ever since, like, fourth grade (7th now) and probably before that, I've been having these extreme blow-outs with my 7-year old brother. What happened to the good old days where we'd play barbies together and he'd be Barbie and I'd be Ken? What happened to the days I taught you how to read, and write, and count, and spell, and your ABCs? I have no fucking clue.
And, I've recently been noting that when he does piss me off, I either yell at him or, well, hit/kick/punch/bite him. I'd hate to be him. Really.
Also, I've been under a lot of stress lately. My mom's been a real bitch and whines to my step-dad, but seriously. You may have to worry about whether he takes his meds, your med school, and the four of us, but being a teenage kid like me isn't exactly the frosting on top of the cake, either. I mean seriously.
Jesus Christ.
I have to worry every day if we have a partner problem. Hardly anyone in my classes likes me, and I'm always stuck with doing all the work. Or most of it.
I have to worry about coming home to her packing up because she's 'had the last straw' for the god knows time. I have to worry about whether I hurt my brother or not with all this crap coming down him? I have to worry about if I explode at the wrong person and probably get my ass whipped. I have to worry about a whole lot more than her. I have to keep my grades up so I don't have my schedule all screwed up just because she doesn't want me to be like her.
And then there's my dad. I think he was fat or something. He alway talks to me about how fat people have less self respect than skinny people. I may not have high confidence, or anything like that, but I don't want to be anorexic skinny.
I'm tired of all the fights. I'm tired of all the angst, and of my anger against my brother. Just today I was told that if he was too loud while Dave sleeps to kick him in the ass. That was the last straw, and I told him no. I'm not gonna hurt my brother if I can help it.
I'm also tired of me getting angry at him for just speaking! I'm tired of all of this shit.
I thank you for taking the time to read this. And, to wrap this up, I'd like to say- Cheyenne means more to me than my family. Honest. I wouldn't leave this place for anything. I love you guys like my family.