Post by pathos on Jan 8, 2012 19:24:21 GMT -5
Full Name: Rudy Thrace
Gender: Male
Age: 19 (July 10, 1991)
Appearance: Rudy stands at 5'11, and is skeletally thin. His face is long and thin, malnourished-looking. He has sunken-eyes, appearing as if he hasn’t slept for days, which doesn’t change no matter how much he sleeps. His eyes are a dark, dark brown, nearly black, and his naturally black, curly hair is platinum-blond, not too long or short; it’s always messy, mostly because he never brushes it, but due to the bleaching, it's pretty straight. He wears very raggedy, big clothes – jumpers, sweatshirts, sweatpants, etc – and mostly dark colours, such as blacks, grays, blues and browns, or occasionally camo patterns to toss it up a bit. His shoes are always the same hiking boots, obviously rather worn since he always wears them. He doesn’t much care how he looks so his clothes aren’t very clean, but they’re not filthy either; when something gets a hole he just goes out and gets himself a new one.
Background: Rudy’s first murder was his mother – she died at childbirth. Though normally this would not be considered his fault, his father was grief-stricken, and tended to blame his son for his wife’s death. Rudy, having been told that it was his fault from such a young age, was not one to argue.
Not that his father was a bad man. At most times, they had a good relationship; they did everything a father and son should do in a good family, playing ball and going to school, watching movies, everything you’d expect in a happy family. And most of the time, they were that – happy. It was only occasionally, unexpectedly, that Rudy’s father would become… different. Angry. And perhaps it was worse because it was so unexpected, so shocking. It passed quickly, though, and the father always bought an expensive gift for Rudy afterwards – not that it erased what he said.
Things continued this way for several years. They changed, though, on Rudy’s 10th birthday. His father was angry, as he tended to be on the anniversary of his wife’s death, but it was different this time – it got physical. So much so that when Rudy went to school the next day, his teacher called Social Services, and his father never saw Rudy again.
Rudy’s second murder was his foster mother. In fact, she was his 3rd foster mother, but isn’t important. What should be considered important was that this murder was Rudy’s fault.
All his families before then had been nice; not overly so, it never felt quite like ‘home’, but they were nice enough. He only switched houses because of schools, but they seemed to go by too quickly for him to ever bond.
As for the murder – it wasn’t planned. It was, really, as spontaneous as these things get. Not that it matters.
The family had just sat down for dinner. It was chicken something-or-other, and no one was talking, just awkward silence. But somehow a fight started, and words were said that probably shouldn’t have been said, and Rudy was gripping the bread-knife inches deep in the foster-mothers’ chest. Seconds passed before he pulled the knife out and stepped backwards; the family stared at him as the foster-mother fell to her knees; Rudy kept the knife gripped in his hand, dripping blood on floor, face blank. The foster-mom let out a gasp, and the spell was broken; Rudy dropped the knife and ran out of the house before anyone could stop him.
He kept running as long and as far as he could, but of course he eventually stopped, as we all do. At this point he realized what he had done, and what he must do; he had to escape, first, and find some means of protection.
He caught a taxi. He'd never considered pokemon useful before; what use was another mouth to feed? But something that can shoot fire or electricity would certainly be useful right about now. He didn't know if the foster family would even be coming after him, but he couldn't take any chances. Time to leave the nest, as they say.
Personality: If one had a more familiar knowledge with sociopathy than the familiar hollywood stereotype, they'd recognize the likelihood of Rudy being one. He is, put simply, emotionally shallow. He's not cruel or hateful, vindictive, has no tendency towards blood or murder - he is not a serial killer or anything so silly. He simply has a limited capacity for empathy, and by extension his own emotional development is a bit stinted. He is not entirely emotionally blank - he can feel. It's just a bit dulled. He feels a lot of self-centered emotions, for example; every sort of emotion that is based on him works just fine. And even some emotions that regard others pop up sometimes, especially if they refer to him as well - like if he depends on someone else for a certain amount of happiness, whatever sort that might be.
Like many sociopaths, he has learned to mimic human behavior. This is not because he is trying to hide; indeed, he has no idea that there is anything fundamentally wrong with him. The idea that, because he has a bit of difficulty empathizing, that he is therefor a cruel person, is foreign to him. No - it's much simpler. Most children learn social behaviors naturally, by picking it up like they do language. Rudy, why he had no difficulty with language, had to study social behavior simply to try and fit in. Otherwise he would forever be an outcast, and who enjoys being the black sheep? He doesn't have much of a desire to play with others - again, not out of malice but simply because he lacks interest - but a capacity to interact with humans is always necessary, so he learned.
Unfortunately, there are many aspects of sociopathy that escape him. The glib charm that the famous serial killers so often wield is simply too difficult for him to muster. In fact, he has little to no charisma whatsoever - it's very apparent that he is an outsider, though only because he's different, as most outsiders are. Luckily he's fine with this, and in fact prefers it. He has no desire whatsoever to be the life of a party.
With learning social behaviors manually came learning morals. And indeed, he has quite a bit of difficulty with those, as one can expect. He has built himself a very rigid moral lifeline, a black-and-white set of rules by which he must live - but because these are his own rules and because he feels very little shame, the common mantra 'rules are meant to be broken' applies.
The rules go as follows:
- No killing, unless it serves to preserve your life (quality of life included)
- No stealing, unless absolutely necessary and you are sure you will not get caught
- Whatever you do, don't get caught
His rules also extend to simpler things such as moral/political issues; he has a rule for nearly everything, the main caveat being that they are learned rules and often not what he really thinks (because he has no actual opinion on the matter). The problem is, while he allows certain freedoms for himself and breaking the rules, he allows no such freedoms for others. If someone else were to break a rule, it is simply unacceptable, no forgiveness, the end - unless he needs that person in order to improve his life quality. Because much as he is fueled by disdain and rage, he is mostly fueled by self-preservation.
Gender: Male
Age: 19 (July 10, 1991)
Appearance: Rudy stands at 5'11, and is skeletally thin. His face is long and thin, malnourished-looking. He has sunken-eyes, appearing as if he hasn’t slept for days, which doesn’t change no matter how much he sleeps. His eyes are a dark, dark brown, nearly black, and his naturally black, curly hair is platinum-blond, not too long or short; it’s always messy, mostly because he never brushes it, but due to the bleaching, it's pretty straight. He wears very raggedy, big clothes – jumpers, sweatshirts, sweatpants, etc – and mostly dark colours, such as blacks, grays, blues and browns, or occasionally camo patterns to toss it up a bit. His shoes are always the same hiking boots, obviously rather worn since he always wears them. He doesn’t much care how he looks so his clothes aren’t very clean, but they’re not filthy either; when something gets a hole he just goes out and gets himself a new one.
Background: Rudy’s first murder was his mother – she died at childbirth. Though normally this would not be considered his fault, his father was grief-stricken, and tended to blame his son for his wife’s death. Rudy, having been told that it was his fault from such a young age, was not one to argue.
Not that his father was a bad man. At most times, they had a good relationship; they did everything a father and son should do in a good family, playing ball and going to school, watching movies, everything you’d expect in a happy family. And most of the time, they were that – happy. It was only occasionally, unexpectedly, that Rudy’s father would become… different. Angry. And perhaps it was worse because it was so unexpected, so shocking. It passed quickly, though, and the father always bought an expensive gift for Rudy afterwards – not that it erased what he said.
Things continued this way for several years. They changed, though, on Rudy’s 10th birthday. His father was angry, as he tended to be on the anniversary of his wife’s death, but it was different this time – it got physical. So much so that when Rudy went to school the next day, his teacher called Social Services, and his father never saw Rudy again.
Rudy’s second murder was his foster mother. In fact, she was his 3rd foster mother, but isn’t important. What should be considered important was that this murder was Rudy’s fault.
All his families before then had been nice; not overly so, it never felt quite like ‘home’, but they were nice enough. He only switched houses because of schools, but they seemed to go by too quickly for him to ever bond.
As for the murder – it wasn’t planned. It was, really, as spontaneous as these things get. Not that it matters.
The family had just sat down for dinner. It was chicken something-or-other, and no one was talking, just awkward silence. But somehow a fight started, and words were said that probably shouldn’t have been said, and Rudy was gripping the bread-knife inches deep in the foster-mothers’ chest. Seconds passed before he pulled the knife out and stepped backwards; the family stared at him as the foster-mother fell to her knees; Rudy kept the knife gripped in his hand, dripping blood on floor, face blank. The foster-mom let out a gasp, and the spell was broken; Rudy dropped the knife and ran out of the house before anyone could stop him.
He kept running as long and as far as he could, but of course he eventually stopped, as we all do. At this point he realized what he had done, and what he must do; he had to escape, first, and find some means of protection.
He caught a taxi. He'd never considered pokemon useful before; what use was another mouth to feed? But something that can shoot fire or electricity would certainly be useful right about now. He didn't know if the foster family would even be coming after him, but he couldn't take any chances. Time to leave the nest, as they say.
Personality: If one had a more familiar knowledge with sociopathy than the familiar hollywood stereotype, they'd recognize the likelihood of Rudy being one. He is, put simply, emotionally shallow. He's not cruel or hateful, vindictive, has no tendency towards blood or murder - he is not a serial killer or anything so silly. He simply has a limited capacity for empathy, and by extension his own emotional development is a bit stinted. He is not entirely emotionally blank - he can feel. It's just a bit dulled. He feels a lot of self-centered emotions, for example; every sort of emotion that is based on him works just fine. And even some emotions that regard others pop up sometimes, especially if they refer to him as well - like if he depends on someone else for a certain amount of happiness, whatever sort that might be.
Like many sociopaths, he has learned to mimic human behavior. This is not because he is trying to hide; indeed, he has no idea that there is anything fundamentally wrong with him. The idea that, because he has a bit of difficulty empathizing, that he is therefor a cruel person, is foreign to him. No - it's much simpler. Most children learn social behaviors naturally, by picking it up like they do language. Rudy, why he had no difficulty with language, had to study social behavior simply to try and fit in. Otherwise he would forever be an outcast, and who enjoys being the black sheep? He doesn't have much of a desire to play with others - again, not out of malice but simply because he lacks interest - but a capacity to interact with humans is always necessary, so he learned.
Unfortunately, there are many aspects of sociopathy that escape him. The glib charm that the famous serial killers so often wield is simply too difficult for him to muster. In fact, he has little to no charisma whatsoever - it's very apparent that he is an outsider, though only because he's different, as most outsiders are. Luckily he's fine with this, and in fact prefers it. He has no desire whatsoever to be the life of a party.
With learning social behaviors manually came learning morals. And indeed, he has quite a bit of difficulty with those, as one can expect. He has built himself a very rigid moral lifeline, a black-and-white set of rules by which he must live - but because these are his own rules and because he feels very little shame, the common mantra 'rules are meant to be broken' applies.
The rules go as follows:
- No killing, unless it serves to preserve your life (quality of life included)
- No stealing, unless absolutely necessary and you are sure you will not get caught
- Whatever you do, don't get caught
His rules also extend to simpler things such as moral/political issues; he has a rule for nearly everything, the main caveat being that they are learned rules and often not what he really thinks (because he has no actual opinion on the matter). The problem is, while he allows certain freedoms for himself and breaking the rules, he allows no such freedoms for others. If someone else were to break a rule, it is simply unacceptable, no forgiveness, the end - unless he needs that person in order to improve his life quality. Because much as he is fueled by disdain and rage, he is mostly fueled by self-preservation.