pikachu464
SLIGHTLY USED
[M:0:0:0:]
Huge Pika Fan!
Posts: 90
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Post by pikachu464 on Jan 25, 2012 11:54:02 GMT -5
Full Name: Michelle "Miki" Michell Nick: Miki Gender: Female Age: 16, July 21
Appearance: Miki is about average height. Her height comes up to about five foot even. So she's about adverge hright, for a 16 year old. She actually is somewhat short but isn't that short. Miki never conplains about her height as she's not that much shorter then what she should be anyway.
Her weight, she's ok with as well. Miki weight 96 pounds. So she weights a pretty good height as well. Her weight is actually somewhat on the low side. Like her height, her weight could be a little bit higher as well, which is how she gets sick a lot. Her weight is kinda low.
Miki has bright blue eyes, very pretty. She was born with blue eyes and her parents thought that her eyes wouldn't stay blue as most babies are actually born with blue eyes then there eyes change to a different color later. Her eyes are actually hazel blue. At one point they'll be dark blue then suddenly change to sky blue, followed by green blue. It can get a little freaky at times, but Miki doesn't really care what others think of her eyes.
Miki has pale white skin. She is an jew, which is why her skin's so pale. Well, actually half jew as she has red hair. Her skin is pale looking also cause she gets ill a lot. Too many things upset Miki a lot.
As I said, in the last paragraph Miki has red hair. It is very fluffed out and goes down to the length of her shoulders. Because of the thickness of her hair Miki is always keeping her hair no longer then the length of her shoulders. Otherwise it would be a very hard to care for. Because of the thickness her hair is always getting tangled. It's very hard to care for.
Miki always puts her hair back into a half ponytail in the back of her head. If she didn't, her hair would be all in her face. That is another thing Miki hates about her hair. Her bangs are very uneven. She has a lot of pieces of long hair that will hang down to the length of her chin in her eyes tickling her nose, unless she pulls it back into a ponytail.
As for her clothes, Miki wears a sky blue sun dress, all the time, as she loves dresses. The dress goes down to the length of her knees. It has no sleeves but has something somewhat like sleeves that puff out on her shoulders. The dress looks very cute on her too. It is Miki's favorite outfit.
She always wears hill shoes. I say hill shoes because there like high hills but the hill's not very huge like on high hill shoes. It's mid height. The shoes are the same color as her dress. They are sky blue. These are the shoes Miki wears out everywhere she goes. For being almost high hills, the shoes are actually very comfortable on feet. She wears a size 7 in shoes.
Miki wears sports bras as her chest isn't really that big. It's actually kinda small, for a 16 year old girl. If she wanted to, Miki could actually go around braless. But she wears a sports bra over her breasts, all the time. And the sports bras she wears are scrapless, one. She can't stand anything tight on her shoulders after all.
Her underwear, is always bright rainbow colors. As Miki loves bright pretty colors. The scraps on the underwear she wears is very thin, almost like a throng. But only the sides are that thin. Not the bottom half of the underwear.
Her bag is a fanny pack. She wears the fanny pack backwards around her hips all the time. The bag is brown and she keeps a lot of things inside of her bag. Like, clothes, camping gear, her PokeGear, and other useful items as well. This is also where she stores all her Pokemon items and Pokemon at.
Background: Miki was born into a very rich family. Which is why her clothes are so fancy. Not having very much human contact, she is quick to get shy around other humans and doesn't know what to say to them. Secretly Miki is actually a noble.
She was always sheltered away from the world ever since she was born. She lived a lonely life, at the mansion. Her only friends were the Pokémon that lived in the mansion. Eventually, after being around Pokémon so long, Miki begun to understand what the Pokémon were saying to her. She was 10 years old at the time.
One day she went to a meeting with her father to Johto. There she sneaked and wondered off into the forest. There she was attacked by a Beedrill. She said some insulting words to it and threw a rock at it. Then about 9 more Beedrill came out and started chasing her.
Miki screamed and ran. The Beedrill chased her deeper into the woods, until she got lost and couldn't find her way back to town. The Beedrill closed in on her getting ready to attack, when suddenly a yellow electric Pokémon jumped out at the Beedril and used Thundershock on them. It was a Pikachu.
The Pikachu attacked the Beedrill again and again with Thundershock, until they left fleeing the scene,"Thank you for saving me," Miki told the Pikachu.
"Pika!" Pikachu turned and ran off into the bushes.
"Hey! Wait!" Miki called. The Pikachu decided to go with her.
Miki was found a few hours later and escorted back to town. When she told her story about what happened, no one believed her. Her father told her that maybe she had been imaging it.
But Miki knew it really happened. From that day forward, she decided she wanted to become a Pokémon Trainer and travel the world. But as she's a noble she wasn't allowed to go. For 5 years she's been trying to sneak and run away to go on a Pokémon Journey but failing each time.
It wasn't until she was 16, that she finally was able to leave the mansion, and not get caught in the attempt. Miki dressed up like a servant and no one paid her any mind as she left the mansion and took a trip all the way to the Cheyenne Region.
See, she had been tracking records of all the different regions that give out starter Pokémon. And Cheyenne was the farthest region away from Kanto. So she decided to visit there. No one there would know she's a noble after all.
With tears in her eyes, crying from happiness, she hugged Pikachu and asked him to come with her on this journey. The two have a very tight bound from where they had first met 6 years ago, when Pikachu had saved Miki's life after all.
It was like the two of them were drawn together, to start this journey together. Miki's reasoning is, Pikachu saved her life and started her on this journey. And for that she loves him.
And Pikachu, wants to get stronger. He's seen many trainer battles while hiding where he can't be spotted. He noticed trained Pokémon are a lot stronger then wild ones. So, remembering the human he had saved from the Beedrill attack, Pikachu had seeked Miki out for 6 years and finally found her.
Now the two of them have a bond of friendship which can never be broken by anything. They start this journey together as a team, hoping to meet and catch new friends along the way and win in the league and become champions.
Personality: Miki is a very kind and gentle girl. Because of her innocence, she will approach anyone, being them friend or foe, which is a huge weakness of her's that can get her in trouble. Miki has the strength to trust in people's good intentions and has a gentle heart.
She has a very high IQ and is naturally smart. She is a prodigy, a natural genius. However she is very street dumb and isn't very careful, out and about. She loves to read books though.
Miki's favorite type of readings, are fictional books. Those incude, romance, action and adventure books. She also loves reading manga as well. And lastly, Choose Your Own Adventure books where she can go though the story and actually pick what happens in it.
Miki is very creative as well. She can sit down in front of her computer and just write and write and write. She loves to write short stories about herself going on many Pokemon adventures with Pikachu. And she is always the hero of the story.
She is also quite curious about many things, and will often ask many questions about things she doesn't understand which can become very annoying at times. But Miki is a very playful girl and loves to play games with the Pokémon she collects. She will often be found at the lab running around with the Pokemon, though the fields, playing with them.
Because of her kind nature it is very hard sometimes for her to catch new Pokémon. She loves Pokémon and doesn't like to see them get hurt. That is why she finds battling so hard and will only battle her Pokémon if she has no other choice. She would rather make friends then to fight. As such she sometimes makes careless choices and finds herself in a whole gang of trouble.
When in trouble she will shy away and try to avoid fights rather then get herself mixed up in fights. If another person is in danger she will shy away and run and hide like a coward, not even bothering to help at all. Or she'd get her Pokemon to do all the work instead.
She is also very clumsy and flaky and will often end up hurting herself all the time as she spaces out a lot. Miki's favorite types of Pokémon are anything that's cute or fluffy. And she likes any and all elements of Pokémon as long as there cute, or fluffy.
Miki's favorite time of the year is summer when she can get outdoors a lot and enjoy the nice hot sun and play around. For being so young though, Miki is actually pretty smart. She has the intelligence of a 21 year old woman, even though she's a 16 year old teen. She just likes to go around and act like she's not very smart, most times. Like a kid she hates any type of vegetable and will refuse to eat it. She only wants to eat sweet things.
She is very clumsy and flaky for being a noble though. Even though she's a noble she doesn't act like a noble. For starters, she likes to space out and day dream a lot.
She also does not know how to swim. She loves going into the water and all, but she can't swim, though. So she can't get into water that is way over her head.
Miki is scared of the Pokémon Beedrill, because of what happened in her past. She can be a little awkward at times. Most times being very shy around others. However she can be very short tempered as well, if she doesn't get her way.
So if you make Miki mad, you better watch out. Once angry she'll take out her anger on anything or anybody that happens to be near her. So when she's mad, stand clear! Miki could also be very fierce as well. She takes no crap from anyone. But in her anger though is when she'll be very fierce.
Info: Favorite Pokemon: Pikachu Favorite Subject: Pokémon History Least Favorite Subject: Math Dream: To get out there and make new friends Fear: Getting caught and taken back home to her lonely life. Favorite Pokémon Element: Water Least Favorite Element: Ghost Birthplace: Kanto, in Viridian City Birthdate: July 21 Family: Robin(50) and Jackson Michell(60) Siblings: Katie Michell(8), Kennel(26), Jareth(35), Sarah(5), Kara and Karla(twins 2 years), Kenny(her male twin, 19, like her), she has a lot of siblings and hates it Clothing Size: 3 Cup Size: A Martial Status: Single Education: Home Schooled Favorite Food: Anything sweet Least Favorite Food: Anything spicy
Gender: Male Level: 1 Met: Cinnbar Island Harbor@ Level #1 Attacks: ThunderShock, Growl
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Post by Sp❣rit on Jan 25, 2012 14:09:56 GMT -5
Oh, I like that picture. Was it fanart you requested, or something you drew? Anywho, looking at your app~
Appearance: I'd definitely try using spell-check when you aren't sure of something, just in case you make a lot of typos. Some of your sentences have words that are really not needed, like "She actually is somewhat short '/but isn't that short/.", so keep an eye out for that if you can.
You go into a lot of detail, which I really like. A lot of it just seems like a repetition of what you said earlier, so also try not to do that. It'll make whatever you say a lot more interesting if you're more consice!
Background:
"Secretly Miki is actually a princess. She's the princess of Kanto."
This seems very mary-sueish, which we try to break out of so characters are more enjoyable to read. I don't think the Princess thing is very necessary at all, especially in a region like Kanto which doesn't actually have Princesses (from episodes we've seen, at least).
I'd suggest just keeping her as a sheltered wealthy girl, and it would still be interesting.
"With tears in her eyes, crying from happiness she hugged Pikachu and asked him to come with her on this journey. The two have a very tight bound from where they had first met 6 years ago, when Pikachu had saved Miki's life after all."
I want to know how she even recognized the Pikachu, bahaha. That sounds like a hard feat after many years. And I don't understand why the Pikachu would have such a connection with her either; he saved her, then ran off. There was nothing at all in between that period of time that would show his need to go with her and her need to have -THIS- Pikachu instead of any of her Pokemon at the mansion.
Though I do understnd why Miki would appreciate him from that one event, some of it just needs to be read over. <3
Personality:
So why did this nice girl throw rocks at a Beedrill? What part in her personality started that one?
I don't understand why she'd be someone to appreciate life so much after being sheltered in a house, and she was probably very pampered as well. What stopped her from being spoiled? What stopped her from being ignorant to the problems of others that are worse off than she is?
Also I don't think the clumsy/flaky thing would work with someone from a higher class...especially with the 'royal' direction you originally went with. They try to prepare their kids with the best they can afford, after all.
You're gonna have to add to her personality, though I like how you went into detail about each characteristic. She needs to be more defined as a person, so even though you met the character limit, we need more personality traits.
Preferrably more negative ones to balance her out, since she has too many positive ones.
www.emotionalcompetency.com/personality%20traits.htm
www.gurusoftware.com/GuruNet/Personal/Factors.htm
These are good sources, so take a look! I'm looking forward to what you edit your app with. :'D
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Post by Sp❣rit on Jan 25, 2012 15:13:48 GMT -5
I didn't want to rob you of your creativity. :< It's up to you on how to take your own character and story. I'm only here to make sure that your character fits in well with everyone else and that it makes enough sense in character.
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Post by Sp❣rit on Jan 25, 2012 17:13:42 GMT -5
Easy there lassie, I read your changes. You don't have to make anything longer, so don't feel pressured about that.
I don't see any changes to her personality, which is one of my main concerns because that's what makes a character interesting in a roleplay. What you have just seems like main 'damsel in distress' cliches, really.
www.elfwood.com/farp/thewriting/mfocharacter/mfocharacter.html
This guide is pretty good too, I'll point out the main things that I want you to look at. Maybe it'll also give you some ideas for your fanfictions too, so yay! Bonus points!
"Don't let your characters be perfect. Ever. The hero can't always be brave and selfless, especially if you combine it with roguish good looks and a talent for swordplay. Characters need flaws. I cannot stress that enough. They need to be imperfect. They need to have quirks and fears and obsessions. They need a weakness."
This applies to the super nice/kind/innocent/klutzy anime girl that roams around a lot these days. You need to break her out there so we don't have the same personality everywhere.
"Let your character be special for who she is and what she does, not who she's related to or because she's destined to save the world. Her defining points should not be based on a condition - she's pregnant, she's under a curse that allows her to only speak in rhymes, she's deaf. She should be interesting for her personality and her quirks. "
So she has a past about being a secret noble, in the end it doesn't really matter. You have to give her goals/ideas that make her come to life in the present. This is more of a note for after she's accepted, which should be soon after the personality changes. <3
Cliche on what not to do: The classic damsel-in-distress (beautiful and completely useless. Has no idea how to do anything for herself. Submits woefully to her downtrodden position.)
So yeah! You don't have to edit this right away, take your time. I can tell you worked really hard, but you might've rushed it a little.
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Post by Sp❣rit on Jan 25, 2012 17:37:54 GMT -5
Pikachu, it isn't my job to write your character. Why don't you look over the links I posted and try to avoid doing the cliches? I also posted very helpful links for 'negative traits' that I feel like you didn't look at based on your character app.If you want, you can make character ideas with members on the cbox if you're friendly about it instead of sounding like you're frustrated about all of this.
Ways to get ideas:
-- Reflect at a pond -- Brainstorm with friends -- Listen to music -- Watch TV, sometimes you can learn by watching characters -- Read a book
writetodone.com/2010/05/05/7-steps-to-creativity-how-to-have-ideas/
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Post by Sp❣rit on Jan 25, 2012 21:20:18 GMT -5
I can tell you worked really hard on this, and I'm glad you put up with us!
You can take your level 1 Pikachu to the Ranger Station for a random Pokemon at level 3. I do want to ask that you take a tutoring thread with one of our mods. Dracken is a friend of mine, and a moderator, that can really help bring out your character. All it would be is a fun thread where she points out how you can improve. Dracken's profile is here, so please PM her asking about it. <3
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pikachu464
SLIGHTLY USED
[M:0:0:0:]
Huge Pika Fan!
Posts: 90
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Post by pikachu464 on Jan 25, 2012 21:56:42 GMT -5
Gender: Male Level: 1 Met: Cinnbar Island Harbor@ Level #1 Ability: Static Item: Attacks: ThunderShock, Growl Level: 10 Met: January 2012 Promo@ Level 10 Gender: Female Ability: Cute Charm & Normalize Item: (Leftovers) Attacks: Attract, Foresight, Tackle, Tail Whip, Fake Out, Growl, Zen Headbutt, Dig
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