Post by wolfie559933 on Mar 20, 2009 19:09:08 GMT -5
HOKAY. SO.
About Kingdom Hearts.
I'mma divide this up into sections. So both of us won't get lost.
Also- feel free to correct me. I barely know what I'm talking about. XD
The Plot
Well, since there is an awful lot of plot in KH (Kingdom Hearts, for future reference) I think I'll just do it by games.
I, personally, have only played Kingdom Hearts 2 (KH2) and Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories (Re:CoM). Well, I know what happens in both, anyway. And the first one isn't so hard to figure out. So, first off- there are tons of worlds. And, for reasons unknown, most of them are Disney. Yeah. For instance- you can go to the Pride Lands and meet Simba. For example. You play as the character Sora, from Destiny Islands. More on him later. He wields the Keyblade- a giant key with a Micky Mouse keychain (referring to the Kingdom Key, others are different). You land in some random world (?) and there you meet Donald and Goofy. Yes, from Mickey/Mortimer Mouse. There's searching for King Mickey (yeah, you read right. King.). Donald is, like, Head Mage or whatever, and Goofy his head of the Royal Guard. But hates weapons. ...Yeah. But, they don't really matter. In the first game, Sora is searching for his friend Kairi (I think.). In the other two, he searches for Riku. (more on this later) Once he defeats Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty- sdlkfj xX; ) and rescues Kairi and stuff, then he has to give up his heart for whatever reason, blah, blah, anyway, Roxas is born! -insert thousands of fangirls cheering(including myself)-
Now, we need an intermission, here. So, without further ado, I present to you-
Heartless and Nobodies
A Heartless is when someone's heart has been taken completely over by darkness, and they become these little black bugs. Kind of like this:
That's called a Shadow. They're the most common form of Heartless. Not very threatening, right? Well, they're everywhere. And there are thousands upon thousands of them. And they disappear and reappear randomly. You can see how this might be annoying. Also, there are other forms of Heartless. For instance, those big fat Bandits in Agrabah. They're freaking HUGE, and you MUST hit them in the back or they get NO damage, and they have a freaking lot of health. Anyway, moving on! From those Heartless also come Nobodies- the empty shells of the people that once were. Typically, they become Dusks or something. Like such:
Those things are scary, yeah? And they really do move like that. They're totally mind-rapists. Mmmmm-hmmmm~. -nods nods- They, like, rape your soulllllll~ -ahem- Anyway, back on topic. They're the empty shell. And the Heartless (obviously) craves hearts. So do the Nobodies. So, we've got a whole shitload of monsters here, who totally try torape you steal your heart and stuff. Another note- Nobodies are typically stronger than Heartless. Except, there are more Heartless and more variations of Heartless than there are of Nobodies. There's a bit more to know about Nobodies, but I'll get to that part in "Characters."
Back to the Plot -shot'd-
So, anyway. Sora, being the protagonist, is way for human life. He's for human life like a Texan for... whatever that football team is that's in Texas. -shotdead- Yeah, not a football fan, but you get the idea. And since the Heartless are monsters who try to kill humans and steal their hearts, he obviously MUST be the good guy and stop them. (-grumble-) Maleficent is in control of the Heartless, thus the reason he stops her. ...Yeah. Anyway, also in the first game, his otherpedo-lover childhood friend, Riku. Riku, being ONE WHOLE YEAR OLDER than Sora, feels like its his duty to go save that bitch who went and got herself kidnapped or whatever their mutual childhood friend Kairi. Sorry if that confuses you. -Pause- Okay, so Sora, Bitch Kairi, and Riku are all childhood friends. They had other friends, but they're, like, a threesome best friends. -unPause- So, Riku's trying to save Kairi, and he's the KEYBLADE MASTUR at this point, and Sora is NOT. But then, his heart is overwhelmed in darkness, blah blah, and Ansem, Seeker of Darkness (who is, in actuality, Ansem's apprentice Xehanort) spiritually and mentally rapes him takes over his body. Which leaves Sora the role of Keyblade Master! -trumpets- Yeah. Then, Sora (obviously) defeats Ansem, and Riku is sealed behind a door (the Door to Light, I think. Or Kingdom Hearts. I keep forgetting! Dx) In other words, a whole bunch of shit that I'm not quite too sure about happens in KH1.
In Re:CoM, Sora meets this MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE in the middle of nowhere, who totallyseduces convinces him into going to Castle Oblivion. And no, it does not look as cool as it sounds. On the outside, at least. It's really cartoon-y and weird. x X; And green. :c But on the inside, EVERYTHING IS WHITE. The doors are white, the floor is white (which I don't get- random feet stepping on it all the time, HELLO?), the walls are white, the pillars, the vases in every corner, the stairs- WHITE WHITE WHITE. (There'll be a joke about this later, in the "Fandom" section. ; D) Then you find out there's this really annoying card-based battle system, which is a major pain in the ass for those of us who prefer to just bash the hell outta whatever's in our way, because even BASHING SHIT is based on cards. And then you gotta charge your cards when you run out, and then you get attacked, and it just sucks. Like, majorly. Ugh. Anyway- this is where you meet (and kill -crycry-) around half of Organization XIII. More on them in the "Characters" section of the rant. So, in Re:CoM, "memories are the key." Where you decide whether you "lose something in order to gain, or gain something only to lose." For those of us who don't speak Yoda, it means that the entire castle sucks out your virginity memories. And then you have to re-visit and re-do practically EVERYTHING YOU DID IN THE FIRST GAME (apparently), only this time, you can't really use your Party as much. (a.k.a, Donald and Goofy, who can be surprisingly helpful at times. Specially Donald, 'cause I hate using magic, and look, he's a MAGE.) So, what draws you to this hellhole, you might ask? Well, apparently, all of your Party (including the King's Royal Diary-writer, Jiminy Cricket) had the feeling that whoever you're looking for is in this castle. ...No, seriously. And then, the "cloaked figure" (who I'm tired of calling that, let's just call the Flower Fairy by his name, okay? He's Marluxia. For those of us who read Wiki, this is really easy to tell.) gives you- guess what- a CARD, this time for a WORLD, and you have to go re-beat everything. Except this time, with 270% more treachery, evil plots, and ridiculously hot antagonists! : D Yeah. Only other really important thingy is that Riku gets cloned, in a sense. Repliku, is what this clone is called. More on that in the "Characters" section. Now, there's this pasty white bitch chick named Namine, who happens to be the red-haired bitch's Kairi's nobody, and can control memories. So, once Sora loses all of his memories (funnily enough, I forgot why he did that), he has to be put in some weird egg-thingy to regain them. I forgot the rest, so... Someone, feel free to jump in! : D
KH2 is based on Sora trying to find Riku. This game contains a hell of a lot more gay than the other games, much to the pleasure of shonen-ai/yaoi fans. (Like moi.) I also have pretty much beaten this game (I haven't yet due to the final battle with Malibu Mansex. I'm obviously the type who just defeats what's in front of me and like, never battles unnecessary battles, so it's kind of difficult at this point. Also the fact it takes 20 minutes straight with no save points just to GET to the final battle, and I'd rather be online reading fanfics, thank you very much.) so I know a lot about it. It starts out with Roxas, Sora's Nobody. 'Cause, if you remember, Sora lost his heart at that one point in time, creating a Nobody. Well, if a person who has a very strong will is turned into a Nobody, then they get to retain their human shape, and not turn into those rapists back up there. They also have slight physical differences, as well as some personality-related differences, due to the fact that Heartless and Nobodies, as their names imply, cannot feel emotion. Without emotion to guide you, your personality would probably be pretty different. Essentially, Roxas is a different person than Sora. So no, pairing them together is NOT masturbation (I totally had to ask a friend that, just to make sure. She was only slightly offended, being a Roxora fan.). Anyway, it starts out with Roxas, in Twilight Town. Well, not really. It's secretly a computer program created/supervised by DiZ (a.k.a, Ansem the Wise, not to be confused with Ansem, Seeker of Darkness). Well, Axel breaks into the system, Roxas kicks his sorry ass, and suddenly finds Sora. He kinda-sorta in a sense merges with Sora (-it's implied. There's a more formal "merging" later on in the story) and Sora wakes up with all of his memories returned to him. Then Sora goes to all the worlds and kicks Heartless ass. Then he goes to Hollow Bastion (later re-named Radiant Garden, even though that's what is was called before Hollow Bastion, and it was re-named- whatever.) and kills Demyx, a member of that evil Organization (of ridiculously cool dudes! D: Of which Dem-Dem is my favorite.) and then he has to go around beating all of the worlds' Heartless AGAIN, then he ends up in The World That Never Was, in The Castle That Never Existed (or something), (don't you just love the names of everything there? xD), which is the Nobody's world. There, you defeat/kill Axel (kind of not really), Saix, Xigbar, and finally, their leader, Malibu Mansex. A.k.a, Xemnas, Xehanort's Heartless. Don't worry if you're confused- I'll explain even more in the Characters section. C: Anyway, there you meet Riku, who hadraped abducted Roxas in order to regain Sora's memories. There's this totally hilarious scene, which I will have a comic for in the "Fandom" section, and yeah. Riku had, once again, surrendered himself to darkness, this time mastering it, instead of being mastered by it. Then, after beating Mansex together, they go back to Destiny Islands. And stuff.
I gotta take a break, tell you more over the weekend.
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Well! Turns out I have a bit of time after all, so I'll start my character rant. :3
Characters
Hokay, we have our protagonists, our antagonists, our side characters, our filler characters, and those annoying "enemies" who end up taking your side in final battles, "purely for their own benefit." Read- because they're secretly not as Heartless (-shotdead for pun-) as they like to believe. And, since I wanna get them out of my hair first, I'll do the protagonists. ...'S profiles. -shot for misreading that-
Sora is the main character in every game. Because he just is. He is the KEYBLADE MASTUR, as previously stated. He is totally a super-hero/pirate wannabe, and is totally gay. Or bi. One of the two. I have actual proof! Well, they (Squeenix, a.k.a Square Enix, the people who make this) are totally pushing SoKai (which I hate) and Roxine (which is like, Nobody's SoKai, because Roxas is Sora's Nobody and Namine is Kairi's Nobody, so...), but they also seem to hint at some SoRiku (-cheers-) and AkuRoku (-incredibly stupefying amount of cheering-). I'll give you guys the low-down on these pairings in the "Fandom" portion of my rant. C: Anyway, Sora looks likes this in KH1 and Re:CoM:
Well, that's the artist's drawing of him, actually. In the actual game, he looks something like this:
Terrifying, right? No? Yeah, well, he looks mega-cooler in KH2. Not only does he get a new outfit, the graphics overall are so much better! ; D
In KH1, he's kind of childish, even though he's fourteen at the beginning (not quite sure how old he is in KH2, prolly 14-16, though) and his two bestest friends are Kairi and Riku. He grew up on Destiny Islands, and he, Riku, and Kairi would build a raft and go to their "special" islandand have a threesome. He's totally a typical protagonist. He meets up with donald and Goofy in Traverse Town (thanks, Sprite! I totally forgot the name of it. Cx ) and... There's not much to say about him.
Here's his drawing and screenshot from KH2! c;
Nicknames: Doesn't have many. If any. In The Ansem Retort (which I totally think should be converted into a religion- WORSHIP THE GIANT FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!) he is known as "the place intelligence goes to die;" though, that is a drasticunder overstatement. Also, maybe something like "So."
My opinion of him: He's okay. I like him, as main characters go. I usually ignore the main characters, but he's pretty okay. c: Better'n Naruto, in any case.
Pairings with him (and my opinions): SoRiku (Sora x Riku) is my favorite Sora pairing, though I also somewhat like Roxora, otherwise known as SoRoku (Sora x Roxas). Others I have seen, however, include Leon x Sora, Axel x Sora, and Cloud x Sora. Those three, I won't bash or anything, but I won't go out of my way to read/watch them. Only if recommended, I guess. By means of straight pairings, there's SoKai (Sora x Kairi), which I DISLIKE IMMENSELY, and Somine (Sora x Namine) which I have seen, which I also dislike.
Oh, and here's a funny vid of him, 'cause I feel like it. ; D
Riku: He is like, immensely cool. Like, not even a little. He is f*cking. Awesome. (And I'm not "saying" the word because I don't want to, but more because of the rules. And don't say something like, But Freezie can! Well, Freezie's an admin. Admin > rules. Simple math.) He's pure epic. He is calm and collected for the most part, and is fifteen at the beginning of KH1. He is mature for his age (-totally not copying wiki semi-subconsciously-) and... yeah. He also uses this really cool black/purple/red wing-keyblade thingamajigger, and can control DARKNESS. : D Somebody tell me that's not awesome. I dare you. Anyway, here's his drawing and screenshot from KH!/Re:CoM:
I almost kind of like his clothes better in KH1, but only 'cause he seems kind of gangster-thug-ish in KH2, what with his muscles, slouching thug-like stance, and low-slung pants. However, I adore him in that black cloak and blindfold. While I love his eyes, he looks pretty sexy in that blindfold. Mostly because the graphics designs artist totally screwed up in the game with his hair, but yeah.
More pics, yay! xD
Nicknames: Not really very many. If there are, it would be something like "Ri," or something to do with "emo." (WHICH HE IS NOT, ALSDFJSLK.)
My opinion of him: He totally should have been the main character. sdlfkjsf x______X; And, he's totally gay for Sora. Seriously. You barely see him speak to Kairi in the second game. (which is all that I've seen him in, so shut up. ;n; ) He's also ridiculously epic.
Pairings with him ( and my opinions): SoRiku (Sora x Riku) FTEW. Since I am mostly a believer of "true love," this is my main Sora and/or Riku ship- however, I also tolerate (and appreciate, at times) other pairings. With that said, there's also RikuRoku (Riku x Roxas), which is usually angsty; Cloud x Riku, which seems to be growing in popularity (for which I see no particular reason why- but oh well); Leon x Riku, which I saw one time; and AkuRiku (Axel x Riku), which I also saw a total of ONCE OR TWICE, but is definitely worth mentioning. There's also RiKai (Riku x Kairi), but I don't like it at all. c: Oh, and Riku x Yuffie, which is The Ansem Retort canon, and I find likable enough.
The only real vid of him that I really like (that doesn't revolve around his TOTALLY CANON RELATIONSHIP WITH SORA) is a short segment in "The Kingdom Hearts Stupid Files," so I don't think I'll add it. :c
Kairi: Ugh. I don't like her, mostly because she's friggin' stereotypical. She's one of the "Seven Princesses," which is all six Disney Princesses and her, and they're the "Key to opening the Gate of Darkness," or whatever. In short- the Gate of Darkness is a computer file, and all of their names were the password. Also- their hearts are COMPLETELY PURE AND FREE FROM SIN, even though they all dress like sluts (well... most of them, in their own special way) and all randomly kill/maim/slap girlishly random enemies. As you can tell, I don't like her. I mean, she's okay, but... I hate her. It's hard to describe. Like, if I ever met her, I would like her, but as a character in that sort of plot, I hate her. Does that make sense? Anywho... She's fourteen at the start of KH1, BTW.
Those were KH1. ...Duh. Note my overwhelming enthusiasm. Anyway, below are KH2. The differences are much more noticeable than the ones between KH1 and KH2 Sora and Riku.
Also- her hair is secretly red. Like, really red. At the ends, mostly. Not that kind-of-ugly-kind-of-pretty brownish in the images.
Nicknames: She doesn't really have manybesides bitch aside from, like, Kai. ...Yeah.
My opinion of her: I already said it. I would like her irl, but hate her in that setting/plot/etc.
Pairings with her (and my opinions): Kaimine (Kairi x Namine) is my favorite with her, and I think it's cute. c: Then there's her and Olette, Yuffie, Tifa, and Aerith, which are okay. I saw a joke-ish Axel x Kairi one time, but... Then there's SoKai, RiKai, and the KH OT3 (Sora x Riku x Kairi). OT3 is okay, but no SoKai or RiKai for me, kaythanks.
And here's her with a few other chicks in a vid! : D
And now, to a high school basketball game! -cheerboo-
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Alrighty, I'm back. So, I'll explain a couple other "important" protagonists in the series!
Donald: You all should know him. D: But, he gets a new outfit in Re:CoM, so I'll post it here.
Also, he is King Mickey's Head Mage. And people can somehow miraculously understand him without the use of the freakishly useful subtitles.
Goofy is King Mickey's Head of the Royal Guard. And he hates weapons. He also gets a new outfit! : D
King Mickey is King of Disney Castle. For whatever reason, he already knew the existence of other worlds before the story. Something to do with his Gummi Ship, which is what you use to travel between worlds. He wears the Organization cloak for a while (the cloak being that evil Organization-I-keep-mentioning's uniform of sorts) for whatever reason. He seems like one of those "knows-all" type characters that you get a bunch of information from. He also can wield the Keyblade. I forget why. And, since he's King, Minnie is obviously Queen of Disney Castle. You also see him in the Timeless River world, which is the old black-and-white Mickey Mouse. c: His dog, Pluto, seems to be able to find him wherever he goes, too. Here's him in the cloak:
Hokay, that's it for most of the protagonists. c: Now the antagonists! 8DDDDD
THE BAD GUYS. YOU MUST READ THIS BECAUSE THEY ARE EPIC. (mostly)
Hokay. So, the main "bad guys" in KH1 are Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, Pete from Mickey Mouse, and Ansem, Seeker of Darkness. I'll write about them first, because I want to save the best for last. c:
Maleficent: She's secretly one of those "annoying "enemies" who end up taking your side in final battles, "purely for their own benefit." Read- because they're secretly not as Heartless (-shotdead for pun-) as they like to believe" enemies. She controls the Heartless (not a difficult task) and can use magic. You don't really see her turn into a dragon in the game, but I dunno, seeing as I haven't played KH1. Pete's her lackey. she has this castle obsession- she travels to randoms castles and plots to take them over.
-random child screams-
...Yeah...
Pete: He's an average bully, just like in the show. He's Maleficent's lackey, really weak, and cowardly. He has slight control over Heartless, because of Maleficent. He has expressed a desire to go back to the Timeless River and run his boat again. But he can't. So he just sticks with Maleficent.
Here's his overly complicated new outfit:
Ansem, Seeker of Darkness: Okay, finally a decent character! Okay, this guy, Ansem, is actually Xehanort's Heartless, Xehanort being the original Ansem (Ansem the Wise) 's apprentice. Ansem had been studying the heart, and Heartless (he technically created them), and Xehanort was pushing to experiment... something, I forgot. Anyway, he's pretty much responsible for Heartless and Nobodies, and opening the pathways between the worlds (because worlds weren't supposed to know that other worlds besides their own existed, barring King Mickey, of course), and yeah. He's the reason the entire series exists. So, even if he's overly dramatic and has a horrid English voice, we gotta give him a round for that. -claps for-
Kay. I'm not entirely sure what happens in KH1, again, so, forgive mistakes. D:
Most of what I know about Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, in particular, is that he's pretty much exactly like Xemnas (Xehanort's Nobody, whom I shall go into deeper (possibly) later) and heraped took over Riku's body in order to gain access to the power of Kingdom Hearts. So, I guess most of him will be under Xehanort/Xemnas.
Here he is! : D
That's him in KH1. In KH2, he looks slightly different, prolly cause Riku remains in control this time.
THE ORGY -shot-
Okay, okay, fine. :c
ORGANIZATION XIII
IF YOU DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL FAIL ALL EXISTENCE. NOT JUST LIFE. YOU WILL FAIL EVERYTHING. SO READ WELL, BITCHES.
There's a lot to say about these guys, because they are THAT epic. c: They're the main-main antagonists, especially in Re:CoM and KH2. They're a group of SUPREMELYSEXY POWERFUL NOBODIES whose main goal is to get their hearts back. Awwwww. Isn't that a nice goal for villains? c:
Well, to do that, they have to use the Nobodies and Heartless to get lots and lots of Hearts. Killing lots and lots of people. So that their leader can get power. And Kingdom Hearts gets all full of hearts. Not really sure what "leader getting power of Kingdom Hearts" has to do with regaining lost hearts? Neither do I. D: I think it has something to do with "if you meet your corresponding Heartless while in Nobody form, you will merge and your self will be whole." Or something. But as for Leader, he's just power-hungry, I guess. Like all good villains. c: They all wear black cloaks, there are thirteen members (duh) and most of them are male. For an interesting bit of trivia, they perfectly match up with the cards in a deck! They are numbered and labeled. For instance- Vexen, Number IX (four, 4), The Chilly Academic. And yes, Chilly is a pun, as his weapons are ice stuff. And he's smart. ; D Anyway, they correspond to cards in a deck as well. For instance, the leader is an Ace (and number one), the "traitor" is a Jack (Marluxia, #11), the ONLY female (aldskfj XION DOESN'T EXIST TO ME. >:C) is Queen (Larxene, #12), and the King is the most powerful in the Organization (yes, including the leader.). So, yeah.
The Organization, like I said, is made up of Nobodies. These Nobodies, however, are those uber-strong-willed ones that managed to retain most of their physical shape (with slight differences in comparison to their Somebodies) and are powerful and control all the other Nobodies. There are, like, thirteen variations of Nobody, and each member controls a particular variation. ...I think. D: All Nobodies long for their hearts. However, the Orgy (I'm just gonna call it that cause I'm lazy, okay? :/ Plus, I think it's funny.) in particular are more organized in their efforts. They feel some emotions, though these are actually just memories of the emotions felt by their Somebodies. Nobodies do not feel emotions, and do not have hearts. Their names are derived from an anagram of their Somebodies' name and an added "x". For example, Sora's Nobody, Roxas, is "Sora" with an x. Check. It's true. And another- "Even" and "Vexen."
I think I got the Orgy overall covered, so let's move on to individual members! : D
I - Xemnas, Superior: He's Xehanort's Nobody, except he stole Ansem's name AGAIN. See, "Xemnas" is the anagram-plus-x of Ansem. He's totally trying to start a cult in the Orgy, except nobody (lol pun) wants to join it as a cult, more like a means to an end. Almost like Akatsuki, but they actually give a damn about some of the other members (in certain cases), so Xemmy doesn't get his cult. :C Poor Xemmy. Anyway, he looks something like this:
Yeah. He is WAAAAAAAAY over-dramatic, and Saix seems to be his favorite member (because Saix totally acts like he's in Xemmy's imaginary cult). He was one of Ansem's apprentices before turning himself into a Nobody for the sake of SCIENCE. -coughyeahrightcough- Also, a fun little fact about his name- if you switch the letters around, you get "Mansex"! That's why I called him "Malibu Mansex" up there. Also because that's what he was called in a favorite fanfic (which I WILL post, don't worry c; ) and yeah. Another nickname is obviously Xemmy. The most common pairing with him is with Saix (Xemix? LOL, it's pronounced exactly the same as MY fave pairing, Zemyx xD) though there may be others. For instance, in this one crack!fic, I saw him and Sephiroth (it was a sort of joke). Also, a joking XemDem (Xemnas x Demyx) was seen once by me. c:
But enough about Malibu Mansex. D:
...I'll post this now, to attract people to look at it. ; D
About Kingdom Hearts.
I'mma divide this up into sections. So both of us won't get lost.
Also- feel free to correct me. I barely know what I'm talking about. XD
The Plot
Well, since there is an awful lot of plot in KH (Kingdom Hearts, for future reference) I think I'll just do it by games.
I, personally, have only played Kingdom Hearts 2 (KH2) and Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories (Re:CoM). Well, I know what happens in both, anyway. And the first one isn't so hard to figure out. So, first off- there are tons of worlds. And, for reasons unknown, most of them are Disney. Yeah. For instance- you can go to the Pride Lands and meet Simba. For example. You play as the character Sora, from Destiny Islands. More on him later. He wields the Keyblade- a giant key with a Micky Mouse keychain (referring to the Kingdom Key, others are different). You land in some random world (?) and there you meet Donald and Goofy. Yes, from Mickey/Mortimer Mouse. There's searching for King Mickey (yeah, you read right. King.). Donald is, like, Head Mage or whatever, and Goofy his head of the Royal Guard. But hates weapons. ...Yeah. But, they don't really matter. In the first game, Sora is searching for his friend Kairi (I think.). In the other two, he searches for Riku. (more on this later) Once he defeats Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty- sdlkfj xX; ) and rescues Kairi and stuff, then he has to give up his heart for whatever reason, blah, blah, anyway, Roxas is born! -insert thousands of fangirls cheering(including myself)-
Now, we need an intermission, here. So, without further ado, I present to you-
Heartless and Nobodies
A Heartless is when someone's heart has been taken completely over by darkness, and they become these little black bugs. Kind of like this:
That's called a Shadow. They're the most common form of Heartless. Not very threatening, right? Well, they're everywhere. And there are thousands upon thousands of them. And they disappear and reappear randomly. You can see how this might be annoying. Also, there are other forms of Heartless. For instance, those big fat Bandits in Agrabah. They're freaking HUGE, and you MUST hit them in the back or they get NO damage, and they have a freaking lot of health. Anyway, moving on! From those Heartless also come Nobodies- the empty shells of the people that once were. Typically, they become Dusks or something. Like such:
Those things are scary, yeah? And they really do move like that. They're totally mind-rapists. Mmmmm-hmmmm~. -nods nods- They, like, rape your soulllllll~ -ahem- Anyway, back on topic. They're the empty shell. And the Heartless (obviously) craves hearts. So do the Nobodies. So, we've got a whole shitload of monsters here, who totally try to
Back to the Plot -shot'd-
So, anyway. Sora, being the protagonist, is way for human life. He's for human life like a Texan for... whatever that football team is that's in Texas. -shotdead- Yeah, not a football fan, but you get the idea. And since the Heartless are monsters who try to kill humans and steal their hearts, he obviously MUST be the good guy and stop them. (-grumble-) Maleficent is in control of the Heartless, thus the reason he stops her. ...Yeah. Anyway, also in the first game, his other
In Re:CoM, Sora meets this MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE in the middle of nowhere, who totally
KH2 is based on Sora trying to find Riku. This game contains a hell of a lot more gay than the other games, much to the pleasure of shonen-ai/yaoi fans. (Like moi.) I also have pretty much beaten this game (I haven't yet due to the final battle with Malibu Mansex. I'm obviously the type who just defeats what's in front of me and like, never battles unnecessary battles, so it's kind of difficult at this point. Also the fact it takes 20 minutes straight with no save points just to GET to the final battle, and I'd rather be online reading fanfics, thank you very much.) so I know a lot about it. It starts out with Roxas, Sora's Nobody. 'Cause, if you remember, Sora lost his heart at that one point in time, creating a Nobody. Well, if a person who has a very strong will is turned into a Nobody, then they get to retain their human shape, and not turn into those rapists back up there. They also have slight physical differences, as well as some personality-related differences, due to the fact that Heartless and Nobodies, as their names imply, cannot feel emotion. Without emotion to guide you, your personality would probably be pretty different. Essentially, Roxas is a different person than Sora. So no, pairing them together is NOT masturbation (I totally had to ask a friend that, just to make sure. She was only slightly offended, being a Roxora fan.). Anyway, it starts out with Roxas, in Twilight Town. Well, not really. It's secretly a computer program created/supervised by DiZ (a.k.a, Ansem the Wise, not to be confused with Ansem, Seeker of Darkness). Well, Axel breaks into the system, Roxas kicks his sorry ass, and suddenly finds Sora. He kinda-sorta in a sense merges with Sora (-it's implied. There's a more formal "merging" later on in the story) and Sora wakes up with all of his memories returned to him. Then Sora goes to all the worlds and kicks Heartless ass. Then he goes to Hollow Bastion (later re-named Radiant Garden, even though that's what is was called before Hollow Bastion, and it was re-named- whatever.) and kills Demyx, a member of that evil Organization (of ridiculously cool dudes! D: Of which Dem-Dem is my favorite.) and then he has to go around beating all of the worlds' Heartless AGAIN, then he ends up in The World That Never Was, in The Castle That Never Existed (or something), (don't you just love the names of everything there? xD), which is the Nobody's world. There, you defeat/kill Axel (kind of not really), Saix, Xigbar, and finally, their leader, Malibu Mansex. A.k.a, Xemnas, Xehanort's Heartless. Don't worry if you're confused- I'll explain even more in the Characters section. C: Anyway, there you meet Riku, who had
I gotta take a break, tell you more over the weekend.
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Well! Turns out I have a bit of time after all, so I'll start my character rant. :3
Characters
Hokay, we have our protagonists, our antagonists, our side characters, our filler characters, and those annoying "enemies" who end up taking your side in final battles, "purely for their own benefit." Read- because they're secretly not as Heartless (-shotdead for pun-) as they like to believe. And, since I wanna get them out of my hair first, I'll do the protagonists. ...'S profiles. -shot for misreading that-
Sora is the main character in every game. Because he just is. He is the KEYBLADE MASTUR, as previously stated. He is totally a super-hero/pirate wannabe, and is totally gay. Or bi. One of the two. I have actual proof! Well, they (Squeenix, a.k.a Square Enix, the people who make this) are totally pushing SoKai (which I hate) and Roxine (which is like, Nobody's SoKai, because Roxas is Sora's Nobody and Namine is Kairi's Nobody, so...), but they also seem to hint at some SoRiku (-cheers-) and AkuRoku (-incredibly stupefying amount of cheering-). I'll give you guys the low-down on these pairings in the "Fandom" portion of my rant. C: Anyway, Sora looks likes this in KH1 and Re:CoM:
Well, that's the artist's drawing of him, actually. In the actual game, he looks something like this:
Terrifying, right? No? Yeah, well, he looks mega-cooler in KH2. Not only does he get a new outfit, the graphics overall are so much better! ; D
In KH1, he's kind of childish, even though he's fourteen at the beginning (not quite sure how old he is in KH2, prolly 14-16, though) and his two bestest friends are Kairi and Riku. He grew up on Destiny Islands, and he, Riku, and Kairi would build a raft and go to their "special" island
Here's his drawing and screenshot from KH2! c;
Nicknames: Doesn't have many. If any. In The Ansem Retort (which I totally think should be converted into a religion- WORSHIP THE GIANT FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!) he is known as "the place intelligence goes to die;" though, that is a drastic
My opinion of him: He's okay. I like him, as main characters go. I usually ignore the main characters, but he's pretty okay. c: Better'n Naruto, in any case.
Pairings with him (and my opinions): SoRiku (Sora x Riku) is my favorite Sora pairing, though I also somewhat like Roxora, otherwise known as SoRoku (Sora x Roxas). Others I have seen, however, include Leon x Sora, Axel x Sora, and Cloud x Sora. Those three, I won't bash or anything, but I won't go out of my way to read/watch them. Only if recommended, I guess. By means of straight pairings, there's SoKai (Sora x Kairi), which I DISLIKE IMMENSELY, and Somine (Sora x Namine) which I have seen, which I also dislike.
Oh, and here's a funny vid of him, 'cause I feel like it. ; D
Riku: He is like, immensely cool. Like, not even a little. He is f*cking. Awesome. (And I'm not "saying" the word because I don't want to, but more because of the rules. And don't say something like, But Freezie can! Well, Freezie's an admin. Admin > rules. Simple math.) He's pure epic. He is calm and collected for the most part, and is fifteen at the beginning of KH1. He is mature for his age (-totally not copying wiki semi-subconsciously-) and... yeah. He also uses this really cool black/purple/red wing-keyblade thingamajigger, and can control DARKNESS. : D Somebody tell me that's not awesome. I dare you. Anyway, here's his drawing and screenshot from KH!/Re:CoM:
I almost kind of like his clothes better in KH1, but only 'cause he seems kind of gangster-thug-ish in KH2, what with his muscles, slouching thug-like stance, and low-slung pants. However, I adore him in that black cloak and blindfold. While I love his eyes, he looks pretty sexy in that blindfold. Mostly because the graphics designs artist totally screwed up in the game with his hair, but yeah.
More pics, yay! xD
Nicknames: Not really very many. If there are, it would be something like "Ri," or something to do with "emo." (WHICH HE IS NOT, ALSDFJSLK.)
My opinion of him: He totally should have been the main character. sdlfkjsf x______X; And, he's totally gay for Sora. Seriously. You barely see him speak to Kairi in the second game. (which is all that I've seen him in, so shut up. ;n; ) He's also ridiculously epic.
Pairings with him ( and my opinions): SoRiku (Sora x Riku) FTEW. Since I am mostly a believer of "true love," this is my main Sora and/or Riku ship- however, I also tolerate (and appreciate, at times) other pairings. With that said, there's also RikuRoku (Riku x Roxas), which is usually angsty; Cloud x Riku, which seems to be growing in popularity (for which I see no particular reason why- but oh well); Leon x Riku, which I saw one time; and AkuRiku (Axel x Riku), which I also saw a total of ONCE OR TWICE, but is definitely worth mentioning. There's also RiKai (Riku x Kairi), but I don't like it at all. c: Oh, and Riku x Yuffie, which is The Ansem Retort canon, and I find likable enough.
The only real vid of him that I really like (that doesn't revolve around his TOTALLY CANON RELATIONSHIP WITH SORA) is a short segment in "The Kingdom Hearts Stupid Files," so I don't think I'll add it. :c
Kairi: Ugh. I don't like her, mostly because she's friggin' stereotypical. She's one of the "Seven Princesses," which is all six Disney Princesses and her, and they're the "Key to opening the Gate of Darkness," or whatever. In short- the Gate of Darkness is a computer file, and all of their names were the password. Also- their hearts are COMPLETELY PURE AND FREE FROM SIN, even though they all dress like sluts (well... most of them, in their own special way) and all randomly kill/maim/slap girlishly random enemies. As you can tell, I don't like her. I mean, she's okay, but... I hate her. It's hard to describe. Like, if I ever met her, I would like her, but as a character in that sort of plot, I hate her. Does that make sense? Anywho... She's fourteen at the start of KH1, BTW.
Those were KH1. ...Duh. Note my overwhelming enthusiasm. Anyway, below are KH2. The differences are much more noticeable than the ones between KH1 and KH2 Sora and Riku.
Also- her hair is secretly red. Like, really red. At the ends, mostly. Not that kind-of-ugly-kind-of-pretty brownish in the images.
Nicknames: She doesn't really have many
My opinion of her: I already said it. I would like her irl, but hate her in that setting/plot/etc.
Pairings with her (and my opinions): Kaimine (Kairi x Namine) is my favorite with her, and I think it's cute. c: Then there's her and Olette, Yuffie, Tifa, and Aerith, which are okay. I saw a joke-ish Axel x Kairi one time, but... Then there's SoKai, RiKai, and the KH OT3 (Sora x Riku x Kairi). OT3 is okay, but no SoKai or RiKai for me, kaythanks.
And here's her with a few other chicks in a vid! : D
And now, to a high school basketball game! -cheerboo-
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Alrighty, I'm back. So, I'll explain a couple other "important" protagonists in the series!
Donald: You all should know him. D: But, he gets a new outfit in Re:CoM, so I'll post it here.
Also, he is King Mickey's Head Mage. And people can somehow miraculously understand him without the use of the freakishly useful subtitles.
Goofy is King Mickey's Head of the Royal Guard. And he hates weapons. He also gets a new outfit! : D
King Mickey is King of Disney Castle. For whatever reason, he already knew the existence of other worlds before the story. Something to do with his Gummi Ship, which is what you use to travel between worlds. He wears the Organization cloak for a while (the cloak being that evil Organization-I-keep-mentioning's uniform of sorts) for whatever reason. He seems like one of those "knows-all" type characters that you get a bunch of information from. He also can wield the Keyblade. I forget why. And, since he's King, Minnie is obviously Queen of Disney Castle. You also see him in the Timeless River world, which is the old black-and-white Mickey Mouse. c: His dog, Pluto, seems to be able to find him wherever he goes, too. Here's him in the cloak:
Hokay, that's it for most of the protagonists. c: Now the antagonists! 8DDDDD
THE BAD GUYS. YOU MUST READ THIS BECAUSE THEY ARE EPIC. (mostly)
Hokay. So, the main "bad guys" in KH1 are Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, Pete from Mickey Mouse, and Ansem, Seeker of Darkness. I'll write about them first, because I want to save the best for last. c:
Maleficent: She's secretly one of those "annoying "enemies" who end up taking your side in final battles, "purely for their own benefit." Read- because they're secretly not as Heartless (-shotdead for pun-) as they like to believe" enemies. She controls the Heartless (not a difficult task) and can use magic. You don't really see her turn into a dragon in the game, but I dunno, seeing as I haven't played KH1. Pete's her lackey. she has this castle obsession- she travels to randoms castles and plots to take them over.
-random child screams-
...Yeah...
Pete: He's an average bully, just like in the show. He's Maleficent's lackey, really weak, and cowardly. He has slight control over Heartless, because of Maleficent. He has expressed a desire to go back to the Timeless River and run his boat again. But he can't. So he just sticks with Maleficent.
Here's his overly complicated new outfit:
Ansem, Seeker of Darkness: Okay, finally a decent character! Okay, this guy, Ansem, is actually Xehanort's Heartless, Xehanort being the original Ansem (Ansem the Wise) 's apprentice. Ansem had been studying the heart, and Heartless (he technically created them), and Xehanort was pushing to experiment... something, I forgot. Anyway, he's pretty much responsible for Heartless and Nobodies, and opening the pathways between the worlds (because worlds weren't supposed to know that other worlds besides their own existed, barring King Mickey, of course), and yeah. He's the reason the entire series exists. So, even if he's overly dramatic and has a horrid English voice, we gotta give him a round for that. -claps for-
Kay. I'm not entirely sure what happens in KH1, again, so, forgive mistakes. D:
Most of what I know about Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, in particular, is that he's pretty much exactly like Xemnas (Xehanort's Nobody, whom I shall go into deeper (possibly) later) and he
Here he is! : D
That's him in KH1. In KH2, he looks slightly different, prolly cause Riku remains in control this time.
THE ORGY -shot-
Okay, okay, fine. :c
ORGANIZATION XIII
IF YOU DON'T READ THIS, YOU WILL FAIL ALL EXISTENCE. NOT JUST LIFE. YOU WILL FAIL EVERYTHING. SO READ WELL, BITCHES.
There's a lot to say about these guys, because they are THAT epic. c: They're the main-main antagonists, especially in Re:CoM and KH2. They're a group of SUPREMELY
Well, to do that, they have to use the Nobodies and Heartless to get lots and lots of Hearts. Killing lots and lots of people. So that their leader can get power. And Kingdom Hearts gets all full of hearts. Not really sure what "leader getting power of Kingdom Hearts" has to do with regaining lost hearts? Neither do I. D: I think it has something to do with "if you meet your corresponding Heartless while in Nobody form, you will merge and your self will be whole." Or something. But as for Leader, he's just power-hungry, I guess. Like all good villains. c: They all wear black cloaks, there are thirteen members (duh) and most of them are male. For an interesting bit of trivia, they perfectly match up with the cards in a deck! They are numbered and labeled. For instance- Vexen, Number IX (four, 4), The Chilly Academic. And yes, Chilly is a pun, as his weapons are ice stuff. And he's smart. ; D Anyway, they correspond to cards in a deck as well. For instance, the leader is an Ace (and number one), the "traitor" is a Jack (Marluxia, #11), the ONLY female (aldskfj XION DOESN'T EXIST TO ME. >:C) is Queen (Larxene, #12), and the King is the most powerful in the Organization (yes, including the leader.). So, yeah.
The Organization, like I said, is made up of Nobodies. These Nobodies, however, are those uber-strong-willed ones that managed to retain most of their physical shape (with slight differences in comparison to their Somebodies) and are powerful and control all the other Nobodies. There are, like, thirteen variations of Nobody, and each member controls a particular variation. ...I think. D: All Nobodies long for their hearts. However, the Orgy (I'm just gonna call it that cause I'm lazy, okay? :/ Plus, I think it's funny.) in particular are more organized in their efforts. They feel some emotions, though these are actually just memories of the emotions felt by their Somebodies. Nobodies do not feel emotions, and do not have hearts. Their names are derived from an anagram of their Somebodies' name and an added "x". For example, Sora's Nobody, Roxas, is "Sora" with an x. Check. It's true. And another- "Even" and "Vexen."
I think I got the Orgy overall covered, so let's move on to individual members! : D
I - Xemnas, Superior: He's Xehanort's Nobody, except he stole Ansem's name AGAIN. See, "Xemnas" is the anagram-plus-x of Ansem. He's totally trying to start a cult in the Orgy, except nobody (lol pun) wants to join it as a cult, more like a means to an end. Almost like Akatsuki, but they actually give a damn about some of the other members (in certain cases), so Xemmy doesn't get his cult. :C Poor Xemmy. Anyway, he looks something like this:
Yeah. He is WAAAAAAAAY over-dramatic, and Saix seems to be his favorite member (because Saix totally acts like he's in Xemmy's imaginary cult). He was one of Ansem's apprentices before turning himself into a Nobody for the sake of SCIENCE. -coughyeahrightcough- Also, a fun little fact about his name- if you switch the letters around, you get "Mansex"! That's why I called him "Malibu Mansex" up there. Also because that's what he was called in a favorite fanfic (which I WILL post, don't worry c; ) and yeah. Another nickname is obviously Xemmy. The most common pairing with him is with Saix (Xemix? LOL, it's pronounced exactly the same as MY fave pairing, Zemyx xD) though there may be others. For instance, in this one crack!fic, I saw him and Sephiroth (it was a sort of joke). Also, a joking XemDem (Xemnas x Demyx) was seen once by me. c:
But enough about Malibu Mansex. D:
...I'll post this now, to attract people to look at it. ; D