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Post by lyrabutt on Sept 10, 2010 22:39:39 GMT -5
okay so long story short my dad thinks i should do nothing more than exchange pleasantries with people on the internet
hahahahahahah bad news whoops i kind of only know my bf through the internet we have yet to meet in real life i mean it's hard when i'm american and he's canadian but eh
if my parents find out they will probably cut off all contact i have with him or worse yet they'll ban me from the internet forever i'm actually scared that this will happen i was actually so terrified when it first happened that for some reason my mind went "you should break up with him before that can happen, it'll hurt you more than it'll hurt him and then you won't have to feel guilty" but i knew that was stupid and that i could never in a million years do that but god damn
i think my blood has been replaced with pure guilt
shitshitshitshitshitfuckshitfuck what right do you have to talk, dad!? you met your CHINESE GIRLFRIEND over the INTERNET! and i've heard you talking about her plans to move here, which has me terrified because i'm terrible with accents of any kind and i won't be able to understand her!
this just means i have to keep it a secret until we actually do get a chance to meet i have to keep it secret for a year. uggggghhhh
i'm teetering on the edge of a panic attack and i'm kind of half crying because he seemed so disappointed in me
he doesn't trust me with this, what if he won't trust me at next year's otakon? what if i only get to stay for a day? that's not nearly long enough, who knows when i'll get to see these people again, they mean the world to me.
and after that lecture he gave me i don't have the strength to look at him, but he'll know something's up if i don't tell him when i'm going to bed, but i'm sure as soon as we talk again he'll bring the subject up again
why won't you just fucking help me, dad!? you're so fucking good at this, you clearly know how to tell when people are real and fake! because if you weren't sure your gf was who she said she was, you risked it all by buying PLANE TICKETS TO FUCKING CHINA can't you at least offer to help me confirm the identity of my internet friends, at least so YOU can feel better!?
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